Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Friday 29 August 2003
29 August 2003
Town's first shattering injury news of the season - because it came out ages ago that Pouton would be out for three months - is that Iain Anderson could miss the next two months with a torn cartilage. I'm not going to do the medical research just yet because there's absolutely loads to write for today's Diary, and besides, I'm eating. The Mariners' super summer signing from Preston missed Monday's win against Wycombe with an injury picked up in the preceding win against Luton but only now has the seriousness of the problem emerged; and the Diary feels partially culpable after meeting some mates last night who I hadn't seen for a while and telling them how ace he is - the fact that Anderson's crocking occurred several days earlier being neither here nor there. So sorry about that.
Joining Iain for a nice cup of tea and a sit down in the treatment room will be Mr Darren Mansaram, who "felt something go", says Paul Groves, while playing for the reserves against York on Wednesday. The precise nature of Flash's injury will remain a mystery until the player undergoes a scan, with his manager explaining in unnecessarily graphic detail to BBC Humber that he may have "ripped something off the bone," with Town's official site preferring to stutter that "the problem seems to be a problem with the young striker's groin." Either way, it's not exactly helping my ham and cheese sandwich go down.
So with Mansaram mangled, Carchedi concussed, Soames sidelined, Phil Jevons unaffordable and large question marks hanging eight feet over Laurens Ten Heuvel's future and spray-painted electric blue, Jonny Rowan is set to retain his place up front for tomorrow's visit to Bristol City. As widely reported, John McDermott is expected to return at right-back with Jason Crowe moving in front of him; and with Des Hamilton suspended Groves himself may continue in central midfield with Stuart Campbell remaining on the left. Aaron Brown could be back in the home side's midfield but may be lacking in match fitness after a whopping seven-match suspension that makes Pouton's punishments look like a playful tickle to the toes.
As part of the Diary's regular build-up to away games, I phoned Ashton Gate just now to make sure you can pay on the gate. The recorded message thingy gives you another number for the ticket office: an 0870 one, so for all I know my call may have ended up costing more than a ticket. "Thank you for holding," says the woman's voice on the hold message. Your current position is." At this point a man's voice cuts in and says: "One," though I was uncertain whether this is another recording or whether they employ somebody specially. Anyway, you can pay on the gate, remarkably - tickets cost 15 octopi - and the Bristolians have buggered up our fun survey a treat because they all drink coffee. Squid. Quid. Sorry, I'm listening to Atari Teenage Riot.
There's also a half-decent bit about Town on Bristol City's official site, in which a bloke from Radio Bristol feels pity for us because we always get patronised - yeah, I know - but the piece at least goes out of its way to point out that Grimsby is not in Yorkshire.
Over to Markie's Refwatch, then, and Mr Stilton reveals that tomorrow's umpire will be Paul Armstrong of Thatchem, Berkshire, overseeing only his second match this season. Last year he issued 103 yellow and 8 red cards in 34 games. "The last time he refereed a Town match," adds Mark, "was in 2001 in the away match at Coventry. In this match he didn't give a single card to either team. This is the match that led to Strachan getting sacked, I'm sure you remember." I was so proud. "Mr Armstrong seems a fair man," continues our scrutineer, quoting Tony Butcher's report: "Really good. No complaints. Didn't book anyone in a tough but fair game. Didn't fall for a fall by O'Neill in the Town box, waving play on dismissively. Have to give him 9 out of 10." Good stuff!
An overwhelming three emails in today's inbox, and that's not counting the ones with that funny virus thing. The first is from Flipper, who has a further suggestion for a trendy alternative venue for Town reserve games - namely "the Nunsthorpe Recreation Ground down Sutcliffe Ave. The Bradley Pitches are a reasonable consideration but The Rec is served with better local transport link and superior local amenities. The local community would also be welcoming to anyone willing to park thier car and leave it unattended or anyone who would wish to purchase hard or soft drugs." He plays for Wednesday now, though, Flip. "With all the uncertainty over Town's fictional new ground," continues our correspondent, "The Rec could one day be the home to a new Grimsby stadium within the welcoming hearts of The Nunny, as it's not as if anyone on the estate has to ask council permission to do anything." Well, it's worth thinking about; managers often emphasise the importance of the opposition encountering an intimidating atmosphere.
"I'm pretty sure Frank Clark lives in Keyworth," says Sam Metcalf, "a Caistor-sized village near Notts. I once held the door open for him in Forbuoys newsagents there...I haven't washed that copy of the News of the World since." Ah, but has Amelia Fletcher been in your sitting room, Sam?
Finally, John Arrand writes on the subject of Radio Five Live's new signing, Spoony. "I didn't hear him the other night but I have heard him before," says John. "He's just an irrelevant Liverpool fan isn't he? - even more irrelevant since he probably only supports them because they were good in the Eighties." Me and Mrs Diary just thought he seemed a bit distracted, is all - like a man forced during the birth of his first child to watch an endlessly looped video of Sex And The City.