Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 5 September 2003

5 September 2003

At the time of writing - which is the obscene small hour of 10:15am, cos I've got a train to catch early this afternoon - Town haven't signed a new striker. I know this because Cod Almighty's Mark Stilton is a subscriber to the Mariners' official SMS service, and they texted him this morning to tell him. For the privilege of receiving such information he has had to pay 22p; and mindful as the Diary is of the need for the club to raise funds, surely fans can simply assume that no new striker has been signed until there is good reason to inform them otherwise. I mean where will it end? Zidane "still not a Mariner", says Groves? Half-hourly updates on the continuing absence of a takeover bid from a shady Russian oil billionaire?

Anyway, that's your team news for tomorrow, basically - that and the stuff we already knew, like Darren Barnard being out in Italy with the Wales squad, so Jason Crowe will probably move to left-back, with Marcel Cas returning to the right of midfield.

It seems to be a bit early in the day to find out what's going on with Peterborough - though with a bit of luck there'll be a Simon Wilson preview here before 3pm tomorrow. What I can tell you is that Posh's owner Peter Hill - who looks like the sort of man EastEnders casts as a gangster, is not a happy bunny after the Posh slumped to a third successive home defeat against Stockport last week. Hill has described his team's attitude as "shocking" and blustered about transfer-listing most of them - a threat that somehow lacks any menace these days given that nobody is signing any players any more.

Back to Mr Stilton, then, for Markie's Refwatch, and the lowdown on tomorrow's adjudicator, Mr Paul Danson of Leicester - "a referee that I'm sure many fans and players are familiar with," says Mark, "especially Simon Rea of Peterborough, who he sent off after one minute against Cardiff last season. But Rea shouldn't feel too bad. Danson dished out 124 yellows and 24 reds last season - that's 2 red cards for every 3 games. And as he's not given any red cards in three matches so far this season, does this mean we're in for a dismissal or two on Saturday?" At least Pouton's not playing, though, eh? "The last time he refereed a Grimsby match was the 6-5 home win against Burnley, where he didn't get chance to book any players. The season before he sent off Lee Hughes when we played Coventry at home, and the season before that he gave us a penalty at home to Birmingham. I think he likes his fish and chips." We should be fine tomorrow then, right? "A word of warning - the last time he sent off two players for the home team was in 1998-99 when Barnet were on the receiving end of a 9-1 thrashing by...Peterborough." Hmmmm.

All that remains for now, then, is for me to take the unprecedented step of plugging the Grimsby Telegraph, for the entirely parochial reason that the Matchday supplement that comes free with the paper on Fridays now features a match preview column by occasional Cod Almighty contributor Pete Green, who has politely requested Diary readers to bombard the Telegraph with praise for his efforts, demanding he be rewarded with more space and free pizza for life. Pete's column starts today, apparently, with a cheeky look at Peterborough, its uses and abuses; and the Matchday supplement itself swells to a juicy 12 pages with an inside look at the "new" Blundell Park, from the kiosks to the khazis and all points between, so look out for it.

There'll be no Saturday Diary this weekend, by the way, as I am off out straight after the Town match, to watch the England game and drink myself into a stupor in a doomed attempt to compensate for the absence of Mrs Diary, who has betaken herself to the south to visit her posh family. So I'll see you Sunday. Bye!