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Diary - Tuesday 21 October 2003

21 October 2003

Afternoon readers, Miles here again, dutifully doing da daily diary. Sorry about the use of the 'da' there, I got carried away with the alliteration thing. But since I've mentioned that particular 'word', has anyone had enough misfortune recently to see the BBC's latest shambles of a Saturday morning children's TV show, namely Dick and Dom in da Bungalow. Oh my god, what a horrid piece of broadcasting. I tell you, in that timeslot, ever since Swap Shop, ITV has been doing over the BBC what Grimsby fans purport to do over the opposition fans' fish.

On to matters a little more relevant to this here column, though. As you're probably aware, fellow black-and-white stripey chaps Notts County are the visitors to Blundell Park tonight. Me, you, and Groves alike will be hoping that the Mariners can repeat Saturday's result and pick up another three points, although it would be nice to go up the league table this time. Team news on the main BBC site reckons we'll be without Simon Ford and Mike Edwards, with hamstring and nose respectively, although the BBC Humber site has news from the latter to the contrary. "Id's stid a liddle bid swolldend, bud id's nod as bad dow, id's carbed dowd and stobbed bleedid", the brave little soldier says of his hooter. If only this evening's match was an away fixture, I could shoehorn an excellent 'second class return to Nottingham' gag in here. Ah well. Edwards has declared himself fit for tonight, but adds: "I might start wearing a crash helmet so I don't break it again." News is that he might have to have the old schnoz reset at some point, though this would keep him out for two or three weeks. With Simon Ford's string of ham likely to keep him out for up to four week, and Tony Crane missing the 1 November Rushden 'n' Diamonds match after picking up five yellows, Mike's nose job may have to wait. Barras, Stallard and Richardson are unavailable for County, but I don't really care about them, so that's as much as I'm saying.

Tonight's match may - or may not - see the last appearance in Town stripes of Messrs Onuora and Daws, whose current loan spells finish at around 9:35pm. Or perhaps 9:42pm if the match kicks off a bit late or something. Find out whether they're staying or not by signing up for the Cod Almighty SMS service. Or, like, keep reading the Diary and that.

"Here's the refwatch" begins a mail from Mark Stilton. Whatever can he mean...? Oh right, yes. It's probably Markie's Refwatch. Ah yes. Here we go then: "Tonight's part-time head master and purveyor of cardage is Mr Lee Mason of Lancashire. Mr Mason is a newcomer to the heady world of Football League refereeing, having joined the ranks last season, and as such it means he has no 'previous' as far as Town are concerned. So, I shall end by saying that he has issued four red and 36 yellow cards in eight games this season and flashed three red and 94 yellow cards in 23 games last season. My prediction, then, will be a nonchalant shrug in a Santos stylee." On which Gallic note, I'll say au revoir and um... en haut les hommes de poissons!