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Diary - Friday 3 October 2003

3 October 2003

Iain Anderson - who the Diary suggests might as well be nicknamed Handy Andy before Town's official site starts calling him "Ando" - is back in training after his explosive start to life at Blundell Park was curtailed by an elliptical knee hubbub and could return for the trip to Brighton a week tomorrow, reports the club's website. Anderson was banging in goals like his TV DIY nicknamesake bangs in nails before picking up an injury at Luton, ooh, ages ago now, but has handed Paul Groves a boost by returning to the practice pitch. Groves is said by insiders at the club to be a Twix man, but with cutbacks rife since the ITV Digital episode the player-manager will accept any biscuity, chocolate-covered snack he can lay hands on.

Other team news for tomorrow's visit of QPR - for which the attendance is expected to top 5,000 and give Town second rather than third division support for the first time this season - is that Mike Edwards has recovered from the tummy turbulence that had him subbed off at half-time at Blackpool. "He's since managed to get something inside him and keep it down," Mr Groves tells the Telegraph, raising the possibility that future Diaries will be moved away from lunchtime. Des Hamilton may be rested, though, which is nice for him.

For the visitors Danny Shittu is another victim of knee, and if the broadcasters of this nation can abolish Nwankwo Kanu's first name then why is said QPR defender not known simply as Danny; and why, for that matter, are Scunthorpe ever mentioned? Arthur Gnohere - who featured in the Burnley defence last season that shipped six against Town and seven against Watford and Wednesday - is on loan to the hoopy ones but sadly misses out with a suspension. Tidings most alarming are that 'veteran' striker Paul Furlong is set to return. I can't really remember whether he has scored loads of goals against the Mariners but he seems like the sort of player who does; and Tony 'Adams' Crane will have to continue his awesome run of recent form tomorrow.

That's us and them accounted for, then, but what about that referee fellow? It's time for Markie's Refwatch. The experienced Mr Alan Kaye of Wakefield is our man, says Mr Stilton, adding: "He's quite a lenient ref really - he only issued four reds and 78 yellows in 33 games last season. That's quite a low total compared to some of his card-happy colleagues we've experienced." Indeed. But does he like us? After overseeing losses at BP against Chesterfield and Watford in recent years "Mr Kaye always seems to referee dour home defeats for us. Although the odds are in his favour aren't they? Tony B thought he was all right against Chesterfield and suggested that perhaps he 'still was a little yellow' for the Watford match. I wouldn't be too concerned normally, but ever since I've started the Refwatch, the refs have been completely different to how I've predicted. So I'm expecting three red cards and two dodgy penalties."

That dodgy teaser line on BBC Humber seemed to disappear pretty sharpish yesterday, being replaced with something about GTFC and the mysterious case of the disappearing parachute payments. The link to this, in turn, led to some guff about a bloke in east Yorkshire called Peter Taylor; but several hours of detective work later, the Diary discovered that it is now Portsmouth and not Leicester who merit your bile and venom by dragging their feet about the 'chute cash - and in particular their shadowy chairman Milan Mandaric. Wolves merit your bile and venom just for being Wolves. And "A sum of £300,000" is not a sentence.

Last of all, then, many thanks to the dozens of Diary readers who have emailed on the same subject in the last couple of days, but I'm really not sure as to the relevance of Newcastle United now being sponsored by Lilt.