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Diary - Wednesday 1 October 2003

1 October 2003

Well, what can I say? If only the Diary had been a bit less supportive of Laurens Ten Heuvel, the entire course of world history might have turned out differently.

I refer, of course, to the winning goal delivered at Bloomfield Road last night by none other than Tony Crane, whose displays at the back so far this season have had the Diary reaching for, er, whatever drug people reach for if they need to be calmed down a bit from a state of severe and debilitating nervous anxiety. After your opinions were requested yesterday, two emails reached me between the column being uploaded at 13:34 and Crane's decisive intervention on the Fylde at 21:19, both referring unkindly to solid bodily waste and one deeming the former Wednesdayite to possess "the footballing ability of a tree". Normally the Diary is minded to refrain from criticising current players, but if it has this effect then I might have to try and be nasty more often.

While we ill-informed fanzine writers snipe and carp, Big Tony's colleagues are queueing up to shower him with praise and superlatives, and with three clean sheets in a row we ought to bow to their superior knowledge really. John McDermott pops up in the Grimsby Telegraph to describe the rearguard action last night as "outstanding", while Aidan Davison may still be suffering from concussion after that bang on the head in the play-off final in 1998: "In the last three games Tony Crane has been outstanding," says the experienced stopper, who had something of a blinder himself, "and tonight he was absolutely brilliant - Tony Adams style." Hey, now let's not go down that road, Aidan; we've only just got shot of one defender who believed Guinness really was good for you.

The result, anyway, sounds like a less than accurate reflection of the balance of play; not that you or I will be demanding the FA take the three points back, of course, or indeed Paul Groves, who sounds delighted with both the result and the reception he had from Blackpool fans on returning to his (very) old club. If only they were that polite at the Hawthorns. Or Blundell Park, for that matter.

Since the Diary feels compelled to obsessively track the movements of Andy Todd, I must record that Town's former loan defender has been recalled from his loan at Burnley to return to Blackburn, where he will in all likelihood displace Lorenzo Amoruso from the starting line-up and bugger up my fantasy league team.

The shadowy leaders of the Cod Almighty team have been overheard to observe that traffic on this website has been unusually heavy so far today. The Diary is certain that this is due only to events in Lancashire last night and has nothing to do with the legal issues surrounding speculation by [CENSORED] on [CENSORED] about [CENSORED].