Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 28 November 2003

28 November 2003

Good day to you all, and what a fine sunny day it is in Cleethorpes! Blue skies, clear air and a distinct smell of victory on the horizon methinks. Not that I'm naturally assuming Town will win against a side that hasn't won away from home this season, oh no. But they should.

And it's Grimsby Town. Grimsby Town FC are by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. That's all well and good (and true) if you take E. Then again, if you take E, Arbroath Football Club of the Scottish second division are by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. I, however, take nothing stronger than Lemsip, which is why I remain attached to the real world to bring you the latest developments.

Now, last Friday I had trouble spotting anything that remotely looked like news regarding GTFC. Today appears to be a bit more eventful. Despite Marcel Cas' extraordinary performance as a late substitute at Brentford, where he set up both of Michael Boulding's late goals, the OS presumes Groves will stick to the same team that started at Griffin Park, in the article entitled: "Groves in confident mood". What? There's no place for our Dutch pink rabbit and his Duracell battery pack?

The Tranmere Rovers Rivals website is also in "confident mood". Something will have to give, apparently, but they have plumped for a low-scoring draw, while we appear to believe that it's three points already in the bag. Des Hamilton's reputation has already hit the shores of Birkenhead: "Not injury prone 'Disco' Des Hamilton?" their website asks. "Yep, and he's struggling with injury in a shocking turn of events, very out of character."

A new initiative has been brought to the world of parenting, in the OS's revelation of Child Locate. It's a useful device that informs parents of where their children are by tracking their mobile phone. Imagine a football field, if you will, and each player is electronically tagged with this device. Now each and every fan will be able to determine exactly where a particular player is when Town concede a goal. Or similarly, the club can detect where all those fans are that used to turn up a few seasons ago.

Of course, Tranmere will be particularly interested in Iain Anderson, as the Scot spent time at Prenton Park on loan last season. Their Hull reject of a manager, Brian Little, looks to have assembled some form of a team to play Town. Crikey, that man's got more talent in his little finger than in the rest of his entire body.

But for now, I bid you farewell. And don't forget to lock up your cars this weekend. [Is this a dig at Scousers? I refer you to the rough guide to Tranmere, oh unenlightened one. - Ed]