Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 21 November 2003

21 November 2003

Good day to you all. This is Rich, reporting for Cod Almighty duty. The last time I had an encounter with a diary was about two years ago, when I read the brutally honest opinions of my ex-girlfriend. According to her diary entries, I was a "nosey and interfering person."

Since Town served up that hallucinogenic cocktail of boredom and frustration last weekend, I've been searching for some events that could be categorised as "news". It's been a rather fruitless search. Unless you count the 'DarBar' affair, where Grimsby was only mentioned in derogatory terms.

Just a couple of days after the population of Grimsby had to get to grips with the fact that they may have to wait another 50 years before a player of their club has the chance to play in a major international competition, news breaks that Simon Ford could be playing for Jamaica in the World Cup 2006. According to the OS, who always have their finger on the pulse you understand, Ford's parents were born on the Caribbean island, which qualifies the defender to play for the Reggae Boys. In what sport, we don't yet know. However, the Grimsby Telegraph can always be relied upon to create a wonderfully crafted pun on the name 'Ford' and its association with motor cars. Personally, I think the chances of Simon Ford playing for Jamaica in the World Cup 2006 are about as likely as Iain Duncan Smith acquiring a personality.

Elsewhere, Paul Groves has told the OS that there are no new fresh injury worries ahead of the trip to Gallimore paradise, that is Griffin Park and its four pubs. A source at Radio Humberside has exposed his increased frustration to me that the Town manager will not reveal any interesting information. But I'm afraid Paul Groves wouldn't recognise the word "reveal" if it took its clothes off, covered itself in Marmite and danced upon the John Smiths Stand shouting out the words: "I am the word Reveal."

So any thoughts that Groves might say something unearthly revealing in the near future should be cast in concrete and dropped deep into the middle of the North Sea, making sure to stay clear from that wind farm just off the coast of Skegness.

Unfortunately, Paul Groves has yet to understand that the media, and in turn, the fans, have a duty to be handed some original but informative comments from the manager. Today's failure to be given such things has only ultimately left me to waffle. So thank you for reading, and here's to what could be a dull, boring but ultimately satisfying result at Brentford.