Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 23 December 2003

23 December 2003

Like the Diary, GTFC will be spending the festive season in financial chaos, except that the Mariners were promised a £330,000 loan and then had it snatched away, and the Diary has just spent too much money on whisky. As recently as 15 December the club received a letter stating that the money was on its way, reports the Grimsby Telegraph. "Everyone has been told it was coming and all of the clubs have put it in their cashflow," fumes Peter Furneaux. "Then we get a new letter and, whenever you ring the Football League to try and ask why, everyone is on holiday for Christmas." The loan had been pledged by the Football Foundation - an organisation also known within the game as "some half-arsed PR effort set up by the FA and top English clubs to direct back to football's 'grass roots' a tiny proportion of the cash they creamed off by setting up the Premiership in the first place".

Town's annual general meeting went ahead as promised last night, with the key item of business apparently being the unanimous re-election to the board of Michael Rouse and John Fenty. I won't pretend to know why they were up for re-election in the first place. The club's financial woes continue, with four players still on ITV Digital wages, this season's gates being the lowest for ten years and Portsmouth being the tightwads who have reneged on our parachute money, with Harry Redknapp presumably keeping it for his wife's Christmas presents. The most alarming news is that players whose contracts expire in 2004 are unlikely to be offered new deals until near the end of this season, by which time our lad Boulding could easily have had his head turned by the prospect of another run-out in the Intertoto.

Let's have a look how the bidding is shaping up in the Blundell Park branch of Sotheby's, as a second auction has begun since we reported that one lucky Town fan will soon be able to have a gate at BP named after them (non-transferable to any future new stadium). Actually, luck has nothing to do with it; it's down to who bids the most money. Although rich and poor is just a matter of luck, really. Anyway... the leading bidder is currently the rather morbidly named 'grimsbytillidie', who has offered 155 quid; while the second auction - for a place on the team coach as the squad travels to an away game - is creating more interest, with 'Jonno11' leading the way on an outrageous 405 of your europounds. "But remember," adds the club's blurb, "you'll be representing the Club when you're on that coach, and in the hotel for your pre-match meal, so you'll have to conform to the dress code, and act in the same way that you would wish professional footballers to act! But you'd want to do that anyway, wouldn't you?" Well, no, actually.

The word 'sorry' is spoken by the Cod Almighty ladies' and gents' outfitting department to any Diary readers who have ordered T-shirts that haven't arrived yet. Demand has been heavy for the two wonderfully stylish and witty designs - available at just £5.50 each, in medium, large and extra-large, with all profits going to fund the hosting of this website - and another batch has had to be ordered from the printers. Apologies all round for the wait - but the CA team promises that you won't be disappointed. With the T-shirts, I think they mean, not Town's results over the holiday period or your career or anything like that.

Any road up, as we don't say in Grimsby, that's all you're getting out of me this side of Thursday. Those who are going, the Diary might just see you in the Rutland on Boxing Day; those who aren't can read about it here afterwards. Either way, thanks for reading, and a very happy black and white Christmas to you all. Take care.