Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 1 December 2003

1 December 2003

Unhappy though Paul Groves may be, his natural conservatism is likely to preclude major changes to the GTFC team after Saturday's rubbish home defeat by Tranmere. "I'm not happy with the performance," the Town manager admits to today's Grimsby Telegraph, but adds: "I won't be making big changes. It's not as if we've played so poorly that we have to look at changing it." No mention is made of whatever alternative methods Paul may have in mind to improve the results.

For its part the Telegraph headlines an editorial piece IS IT TIME TO START WITH PHIL JEVONS? Assuming that the wise old hacks at Riby Square know better than to actually believe their own laughable assertion that "a Kabba, an Oster or a Lester would have found a way through on Saturday but only Jevons has that kind of class in the final third", one can only assume that the paper is hitching itself to the populist Jevons bandwagon to get back in with the fans after the Ambulancegate debacle. Anyway, look - all of you, look - Jevons is not the answer, any more than Terry Cooke was last season. I don't care how many he scores for the reserves; when he gets through on goal in a first-team game, he scuffs it weakly wide or straight at the keeper. Yes he does. You are simply choosing not to remember. Any chance of taking the Telegraph piece seriously, furthermore, is torpedoed by its claim that Saturday's weather "produced a compelling argument for summer football". Oh, just give over, you big jessies.

When you feel an urge to read embittered invective against those who earn a living from writing badly, the Diary may be your first port of call, but in the interests of karmic balance I feel compelled to point out, before we try to forget Saturday's match forever, a quite good report on the game from the Liverpool Daily Post. See - it can be done!

Stacy Coldicott has joined Alan Pouton and, er, most of the other players on the Mariners' training ground. The underrated midfielder, whose defensive presence is greatly missed this season as Des Hamilton struggles to recapture the form that once earned him a £1.5m transfer to Newcastle, has of course been sidelined with a broken leg since, ooh I dunno, ages ago now, but has begun something called "straight line running", according to an interview in Saturday's Sports Telegraph. I suppose it sounds a bit cooler and sportier than saying "running in a straight line". "There's still some healing of the bone to take place," explains Stace, "but the specialist has assured me that shouldn't be a problem." Young centre-half Simon Ford - well, young-ish now, really - could be fit enough to resume first-team duties within a fortnight, meanwhile, but the Diary for one would be mightily alarmed to see him recalled at Mike Edwards' expense.

"Didn't he get us to the top of the 1st Division, what has Groves done?" writes Mel Thurby, spurred into email action by the Diary's scornful treatment of Lennie Lawrence on Saturday. "Oh got us relegated, and didn't Lennie get Cardiff promoted? Yes he did, not really a loser then, more like a winner! One of the better managers we have had at this club for sure." Thanks for your mail, Mel - it's always good to hear from someone new - but if you ask me, see, Coco the Chimp could have got Cardiff promoted with the 56 scrillion quid Lawrence was given to spend, on top of already having the best striker in the Nationwide, and would probably have done better than finish sixth and scrape through the play-offs. And Groves didn't get Town relegated - Lawrence did; it's just that Groves happened to be the manager when it occurred. Mel, young jedi, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.