Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 7 January 2004

7 January 2004

Greetings from a time/space continuum where absolutely nothing makes sense. It's just like living in Wigan, really. Anyway, to be honest, it's my intention, as your guest diarist, to refrain from using football clichés. Because, you know, obviously, at the end of the day, they just make you sound stupid. Innit?

Right, well, I'd better crack on with the important stuff. It appears that Grimsby Town have rearranged the Wrexham game for Tuesday 20 January, 19:45 kick-off, or so says the OS. Then again, the OS said that the game would definitely be going ahead at 1pm on the original day, so best check nearer the time, folks.

It seems a bit harsh on Wrexham. Their long trek to Blundell Park on the Tuesday will be followed by an away game at Brentford on the Saturday, and the following weekend sees them travel all the way to Bournemouth. Poor sods.

Well, what d'ya know? Groves is feeling the heat. He now wants his players to fight and scrap for every ball. Didn't he want them to do that in the first place? We should "dig deep" and "do it for the fans." So that's a 2-0 win for Plymouth on Saturday then.

Elsewhere, the ever-infuriating Tony Crane has achieved something Frank Bruno longed to accomplish in his career. Yes, according to Wycombe boss Tony Adams, Tyson is K.O.'d and it's all down to the undisciplined one. It was a bit below the belt; in fact it was Tyson's knee that saw him return to Reading. Of course, I am talking about Nathan Tyson, Wycombe's loan striker from the Royals (nothing posh about being next-door neighbours to Slough). I wonder if Bruno would go 15 rounds with Nathan Tyson? I reckon eight fights should do it.

Keeping with the Crane theme, it could be that the young defender will miss more first team action as I make it ten bookings so far this season. The greedy little so-and-so. Why can't he be more like that Dutch fellow, Laurens Ten-Pin Rent-A-Car or whatever his name is? At least he had the common decency to evenly distribute his cautions to the unsuspecting Jason Crowe.

If it's orange and can't get through a revolving door, then it's Judith Chalmers with a spear through her bonce. Where was I? Oh yes - he changes his tone as it's time to look back on the Electronic Fishcake's recent ‘keep Groves / go Groves' argument. Perfectly put I think. Or perhaps it should read ‘say nice things about Groves / abuse Groves'. Whichever way, it has made entertaining reading. I don't wish to sweepingly categorise the fans of this football club, but I have come to the conclusion that there are many fools out there backing Groves. Yet we all know he should be sacked, Alan Buckley reinstated with his thieving son as a sort of dual management team, and play out our remaining years in the Football League with dignity and "good passing and movement." It's there for all of us to see. I can see it.

I must say, it's nice to see Richard Hughes back in the Portsmouth team. There he was, scuttling around at Chelsea on Saturday, and he was also witnessed at Villa Park last night. It's noticeable that he has his old floppy hair back. Wise choice, Mr Hughes. We all know how ridiculous you looked in your final game for Town, when you chose the right time to score a goal and draw Sky TV's attention to your hair cut.

Finally, in a letter to the Diary, Andy asks: "Can you please ask your readers if any of them know why the Oldham match has been moved to the Sunday?" I think it's for the same reason that Hartlepool moved theirs to the Friday. Unless I'm mistaken, it's Oldham's attempt to lure more fans to a game on a day when nobody does anything. So if they can prise 30-or-so Premiership armchair fans away from their living room for an afternoon of fun and games down at Boundary Park, then they'll have done well. As long as the result isn't similar to Hartlepool's, then I don't have an argument.