Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 24 February 2004

24 February 2004

When the Diary mentioned last week that I would be filling in for him, I think he said something about my "cheerful shed philosophising". Well, I feel more like Jock Frazer this morning, to be honest. To put that statement into perspective, my post this morning contained the slacker's dream - a big wodge of tax rebate. So why do I still keep muttering that "we're doomed", even on a day when I'm unexpectedly flush? Well, first and foremost, we have a match tonight against an unfashionable side, desperate to win to keep their play-off dreams alive. More on that later, but second, and even further foremost, the board's admission that the club debt has reached £2m, and the fact that it keeps rising (due to our ever-growing squad of ne'er-do-wells, suspendees, trialists and other slackers), must mean that we are perilously close to going under. Not waving, but drowning.

Comparing where we are today to the first day of the season, is more than a bit sad. Remember we started off by flying (flying, like swearing in print, is always exciting, remember) our newly signed squad down to Plymouth, and earning a point with a decent performance. The sun was shining, we didn't have any loan players, and there was the prospect of Pouton and Coldicott returning to fitness 'soon'. Having dropped a division we felt we had a squad that would be up there with the best of 'em. Now we are 20th, fielding a patched-up team, and are about to start juggling even that (to avoid having too many loanees on the field at any one time). Come the weekend we'll have played 30 players in the first team this season. Oh, and the stop-gap manager is operating on a match-to-match basis. No wonder I struggle to recognise who's who on a dark, rainy Tuesday night.

As I mentioned yesterday, we need a big whip-round to pay for a borrowed goalie. Surely Davison's fine of two weeks' wages would pay half of that? Assuming they have given him one, that is. I've just had a peek at the GTST page and there is no mention of 'grab a goalie' donations yet. So, to get the ball rolling Cod Almighty will accept donations. We'll set up a proper page shortly, but in the meantime, email me if you want to make a donation online and I'll tell you how you can do it. Every penny will go to the club. Of course the other way to do it is to turn up for the match tonight, where there will be donation-accepting receptacles (buckets, for the older readers among you). Beware, though: a rival gang will be waving different buckets under your nose to raise money for a 30-foot flag for the Pontoon. Rumours that this will be taped over the Mariners' goal in lieu of a keeper on Saturday are, so far, unfounded.

So, given my despondent state, I'm making sure that I witness tonight's performance on a full stomach, dining at Ernie Beckett's fish and chip emporium beforehand, with no less a Town luminary than Mr Tony Butcher. If you have a question to ask Cod Almighty's ace match reporter, send it through. But be quick: I have to leave home at 3:30 cos I live 70 miles from Grimsby in deepest joskin land. Replies cannot be guaranteed, of course, as Tony works in the insolvency bit of the DTI or whatever so he could lose his job if he starts sounding off about Town's financial situation. Ask him about the foul throw law, the state of the opposition's hairstyles, how he remembers so much stuff without taking any notes at the game. Prog rock questions are also welcomed (I am a Van de Graaf Generator expert - not many people know that).

So what news, today? Well, our French correspondent did us proud, giving us a dandy overview of the weirdly named trialist. By the way, Stu, Mr Friiiio is a dashing, flair-laden, French midfield player who has scored lots of goals this season. Except when he came up against a certain Paul Groves at Blundell Park, who made him virtually anonymous all game. Simon Wilson has also given us a spiffing mini-preview of tonight's game. Luton can't lose at home (except, perversely to Grimsby Town), and always seem to draw away.

As for Town's starting line-up then your guess is probably better than mine, or Rodger's, come to that. Stacy has a late fitness test on his groin; Armstrong and Daws are signed, and re-signed respectively; Edwards is suspended; Crowe and Macca are out for deffo. That means we have loads of strikers to choose from, but no right-back. Every time I think of Wes Parker I remember his man-marking performance against Kinkladze at Derby on Boxing Day in the 2002-03 season. If Stacy is our yard dog, could Wes be our Jack Russell? As for centre-half, new signing Armstrong has been talking to the Grimsby Telegraph and thinks he might be playing at centre-half with old colleague Crane: a prospect, apparently, he does not relish. Yeah, I know what you mean Craig. Here's hoping for as good a win as we got with that patched-up side against Derby. See yer.