Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 22 March 2004

22 March 2004

Today is a day for quietly picking over the bones of Town's awful 2-0 defeat by Hartlepool on Saturday, nursing mugs of hot tea, and perhaps brushing up on the route to Kidderminster (join the M5 southbound from the M6, leave at junction 3 and follow signs for the A456), but just four games into his career as GTFC manager Nicky Law is already resorting to the sort of undignified straw-clutching that has made the likes of Trevor Francis a national laughing stock. "Calling the game off was a decision the referee could have made," Old Nick tells the Mariners' official website, with a peculiar sort of syntax that suggests the ballboys in fact attempted to postpone it. Now as far as the Diary is aware, you can call off a football match if the pitch is waterlogged or frozen or the stadium is fogbound, but high wind justifies postponement only if the safety of spectators is compromised. Mind you, the way Law's team performed, nobody would have been too surprised to see Town fans queueing up to hurl themselves off the top of the John Smiths.

In the wake of Saturday's outrage Miles Moss has been quick to email the Diary with a less than promising prognosis on Town's new striker Darenne le Mansaramme, aka Mickael Antoine-Curier. "Unable to make many games these days," writes MM, "I tend to follow the live text commentary service on the BBC site. According to this, Antoine-Curier came on for Town at half time, but his only mention from then on was this: '81:04 - Foul by Steven Istead (Hartlepool) on Mickael Antoine-Curier (Grimsby)'. That's it? His entire 45-minute contribution involved being fouled once? Oh dear. My miserable bastard test score has just gone up."

Clearly aware of Cod Almighty's status as "perhaps the foremost Grimsby Town internet fanzine" (according to Saturday's Guardian), GTFC has sent this site 50 tickets for its Grand National draw to try and flog on its behalf. Always eager to lend a hand, the CA team has agreed and Diary readers are urged to support the club in this important fundraising initiative. Tickets are only a quid a throw and punters could win up to £2,000, depending on which man in funny clothes hits his horse the hardest to make it run fast, so if you can spare a little cash then why not have a little flutter?

"Wait just one moment, Mr Diary," I hear you say. "What was that about the Guardian?" It was more coverage for Cod Almighty's increasingly popular GTFC T-shirts - on the subject of which, Guest Diary has landed this column in trouble with Dave Otter of the Grimsby Town Supporters Trust. "Yes, I know I'm a fat bastard and that I waddle," writes Dave in response to GD's frankly cheeky account last Friday of his appearance on Look North in a 'Grimsby is not in Yorkshire' T-shirt (which the Diary still hasn't seen a tape of). "By the way, I didn't borrow the T-shirt - it was presented to me by the presenter when I turned up at the club for (what I thought was going to be) a two-minute interview. It was quickly given back to Pete's mum. What I would really like to point out is that I went into this in good faith in a genuine attempt to promote YOUR website and YOUR T-shirts (despite the fact that Cod Almighty has nothing to do with the Trust)!" Fair enough.

Emma Gillingham, also of GTST, has espied coverage of CA's fashion garments in the belly of the beast itself. "Nice to see the 'Grimsby is not in Yorkshire' T-shirts featured in the Yorkshire Post today," she writes. "I particularly liked the use of an authentic Grimsby fan to model them (the look of abject misery was the giveaway). Keep up the good work." Cheers Em, though I'm not sure James Booth will be too flattered...