Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Friday 16 April 2004
16 April 2004
I woke up this morning feeling sorry for myself again. Another day dawning in the Law regime. A hefty dose of Elmore James and Eddie Boyd later, and I was on the brink of bringing you today's Diary in the manner of a Mississippi bluesman. Thank your lucky stars, gentle reader(s), that your recurring Guest Diarist was pulled back from that particular brink. But if I had possession over Judgement Day then there would be swift retribution for perverse acts committed in the name of football management by that martinet Law. Law, in fact, shall forthwith be known as Fester/Kurtz/Nosferatu (aka F/K/N): a name coined, as you may have suspected, by Cod Almighty correspondent Mr Tony Butcher. Tony writes to the Diary recounting a conversation with a Burnley fan who asked him recently "if we are going to stick with Fester until the end of the season? I assured him that Town fans would take a stick to Fester/Kurtz/Nosferatu until the end of the season."
This correspondent will also be a hellhound on F/K/N's trail until he is driven out of Town at the end of the season by the relegated hordes (all two thousand or so of us). Is there anyone out there who remotely respects or likes this man? If so please write in and try to convince me. As you can judge by the tenor of these opening paragraphs, it will be possibly not the easiest of tasks.
Paul Thundercliffe - who had the decency to elegantly encapsulate in a despairing article the other week what every right-thinking Town fan has been thinking about this season - has been in touch as well, saying: "Couldn't bring myself to write until now, but what the hey, it might be therapeutic. Some word of advice for anybody contemplating going on Saturday. No, not 'Don't, you stupid fucker', but don't watch a compilation video that you taped off Goals on Sunday in the early nineties half an hour before going. This is what I did on Monday, and it wasn't funny. Even Kevin Jobling looked magnificent. Can you believe we actually used to berate Rees for his 'holding up the ball and back-heeling it' shenanigans?!" Yes, I'm afraid that I did sometimes, Paul, and no I can't.
This week's excellent Refwatch takes pride of place on Town's official site this morning so I'd better emulate that and let you read all about tomorrow's hairy-armed man in black:
The referee for Saturday's encounter with Rushden & Diamonds will be Mr David Pugh. And the signs are good: Mr Pugh has presided over 19 games so far this season, with the home team only losing in four of those games. With a moderate average of 3.26 bookings per game, Mr Pugh is an exclusively Nationwide league-based official.
Now in his seventh season as a referee, Mr Pugh has taken charge of five Town games during that time. The most recent was a 2-0 defeat at Barnsley way back in September 2000. Town's overall record under Mr Pugh is won two, drawn one, lost two.
The official site also posts some encouraging increases in the number of choices available to N/F/K when he picks the teams for training this morning, saying: "Town boss Nicky Law has received a welcome boost with the news that Darren Barnard, Stuart Campbell, Isaiah Rankin and Craig Armstrong might join in training on Friday. Darren Mansaram, who has just completed a two match suspension after his sending off at Chesterfield, is set to return and could partner Isaiah up front. Jonny Rowan has also shook off a medial ligament injury and is already back in training." That must mean the tea lady is no longer required in her makeshift striker role during practice matches. I imagine that she will be disappointed though, as her place was merited on form compared to the Mansaram brothers. N/F/K rattles on predictably about 'battling qualities' and ends by declaring that "We now have to win games. We have to beat Rushden, we have to beat Brentford and we have to beat Stockport." I've tried repeating this several times, latterly in Churchillian manner, but our 'easy' run-in sounds less and less likely to produce points with each repetition. Still, hope springs eternal, they tell me.
Our opponents tomorrow, Rushden & Diamonds, have similar straitened circumstances to Town: best players 'sold', loads of injuries, and suspensions. But, taking a leaf out of Mr Tondeur's book, I will refrain from rabbiting on about the strengths and weaknesses of the opposition. There's no need anyway - if I tell you that Rodney Jack is playing it should be enough for you to know that we are doomed. If you want the full monty inside track, read Northampton Today and their nostalgically named goalie, Bill Turley, will tell you all.
By the way, the BBC has announced that local radio stations will get streamed on the internet soonish. Whether they will block footie commentaries like Radio Five does, I have no idea. Whether that applies to Conference games (always looking to the future, aren't I?)... see yer, and keep hoping - you got to, haven't yer.