Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 9 April 2004

9 April 2004

Welcome to the worst day of the year. At least your Guest Diarist remembers it thus from his wild youth in Caistor. A day when you're off work but there's no football, and the pubs open Sunday hours on a Friday. Oh, and the off-licence is closed. Just 12-2 and then 7-10:30 were Sunday hours, for the benefit of younger readers. Nowadays I spend a lot more time thinking about strong drink than actually getting kaylied. Apologies for the probable spelling error but it's a word I've never seen written down, and Google just fills my screen with tales of young females whose mothers have hijacked this lovely word as a bloody christian name. It is, of course, also the nickname for fizzy sherbet, as someone called Jerry Woolner mentioned in the Postbag the other day. Your mate's right Jerry, but I don't know the background on why. Just believe, and keep words like this alive, matey.

I'm feeling belatedly miffed that I elected not to get down to the Smoke for the QPR game tomorrow. Last time I went we had a right laugh at the buffoon in the Mexican hat serenading us from the upper tier of the home stand. Never did "you're going back to your bedsit" ring truer. My excuse is the feeble "never go far from home on a bank holiday". So I'll be 'watching' the match courtesy of the reliably curious text commentary provided by the BBC web page dedicated to Grimsby Town. It will no doubt be full of incidents worthy of note like "defending throw-in taken by Jason Crowe". Worse than being stuck on the A1 actually, but no more than I deserve for being such a lightweight, I hear you mutter.

The Town enthusiasts who pen the stuff on the official site have exclaimed that they have the "real team news!" this morning. Apparently Isiaahahah Rankin's ankle is still dodgy, and Mr Law is undecided whether to play him in just one of the Easter games or both and "risk burn out". I'll refrain from further comment, save to selfishly say if he plays in just one then let it be Monday when I'm at Blundell Park to watch him. Both the English and the French Mansarams are out tomorrow with suspension and sore neck respectively. Barnard is also suspended, but Armstrong is back (to fill the left-back slot, I expect and hope). Apparently Mr Law is hinting that it would be unwise to break up a winning team, so Warhurst is likely to be kept out by 'player of the season in waiting', Mike Edwards. Hoo-bloody-ray, but I'll only believe it when I see it.

Si Wilson has overcome some NTL-related connection problems to bring you this week's Refwatch, and here it is:

Saturday's game at Loftus Road will be officiated by Suffolk's Mike Thorpe, his 31st game of the season. So far Mr Thorpe has dished out 88 yellow cards and six reds: just under three bookings per game. Five of Mr Thorpe's games this season have seen over six cards shown in each of them.

Now in his second year as a Nationwide League ref, Mr Thorpe has taken charge of only one previous Town game - midway during last season for a 3-3 draw at Wimbledon. Cod Almighty's esteemed reporter Mr Tony Butcher was moved to award Mr Thorpe a score of 0 for his (non-)performance that day. Let's hope Mikey doesn't follow suit from that game and blow for full time at Loftus Road with Town looking like they are about to nick three points with a dangerous attack in the opposition's six-yard box...

QPR are a good team, but one we have beaten this season in one of the few decent performances from Town. They also have been dropping points lately. If they'd give us one tomorrow I'd be ecstatic. We, erm, haven't won away lately but the illogical fan in me says the last time we did was in west London, and the boring-but-true stats say there are loads of previous draws between the two clubs. So there we are then: 1-1 would do very nicely, don't you reckon? Gareth Ainsworth, QPR's wide right man thinks differently, though, as he looks forward to continuing his comeback from an eight-week lay-off. He says on the QPR official site: "It's brilliant to be back. It's been a long wait, eight weeks, but now I'm back - smashing in to full-backs and chasing a few balls. It's a great feeling." Yeah, well, after that some obaceration is called for. Let's just hope someone does it for him. Up the bleedin' Mariners. See yer.