Cod Almighty | Article
by Richard Dawson
16 January 2004
I imagine that every Town fan does it. I know I do from time to time, and some of the Cod Almighty team are buggers for it. It's human nature, I suppose. But we'll come back to that in a minute. First of all, we ought to try to take a bit of a look, and see where we are. It won't take long - promise.
Well, we're back in Division Two, roughly halfway through the season, and languishing in mid-table obscurity. We haven't won in about eight games; all cup interest is extinguished; our two most popular players are rumoured to be leaving for loose change; a section of the fans is baying for the manager's head; and the club has accumulated losses of a million quid. But ultimately, what's new, and why am I stating the bleeding obvious?
Dreamer
To me, what that lot boils down to is that Town are back where they belong. OK, so we had a bit of a halcyon period in the thirties, and punched slightly above our weight in the nineties. But for the last 75 years or so, we've mostly done pretty much exactly what we are doing now, haven't we? Admittedly, it's bound to feel tough just at the moment. Like a thumping hangover does, on a Monday morning after an epic bender of a weekend. But, hangovers are quickly forgotten by all but the staunchest of Methodists, and in the same way we'll soon get used to life back in the lower divisions.
However, this season we just have to face a few embarrassing facts. At the moment Town are perceived by their competitors in Division Two as a club that can't cope with the drop in class: as a team that sometimes sniggers on the bus about how easy it's going to be today - and then gets roundly thumped. It is easy to imagine what the opposition says: "Ooh, they play some right good football at times, but you can roll them over more often than not."
Don't fret too hard, though. It will all come right in the fullness of time. Indeed, the recovery signs are there already; dead wood will get pruned, and attitudes will get adjusted. I'm confident that in 20 years' time hardly anyone will remember this season. We'll end up somewhere between 8th and 18th and there may be no more than half a dozen points or so separating the entire mid-table rabble of which we are worthy members. And I will be pretty content if that happens, you know.
Behind the scenes, though, I'm impressed by the fierce survival instincts exhibited by the Town board. They have been pretty ruthless in driving down the cost base of the club. Apparently the wage bill has been lopped by about 70 per cent in less than 12 months, with a bit more to come. We still have a team worth watching, in my view, and I'm confident that we'll have a decent little run of results before the end of the season to cheer up the faithful. Even more importantly, we will have a club to support next season, and in the years to come. With a bit of luck we will still be at Blundell Park as well, but that's a topic for another day.
So what was I muttering about at the top of the article, I hear you ask? Oh, that; that was just an oblique reference to dreaming, in the shower, of total world football domination within five years, or something. Pass the soap, would you; I'm late as usual.
With apologies to Radio 4 and JRR Tolkien. This article is dedicated to EL Wisty, a man who knows how to dream
The Cod Almighty editorial team challenges anyone to refute Richard's eminently sensible points. Or indeed to agree with him. Here is the feedback form.