Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 29 July 2004

29 July 2004

There'll be no more Motorhead albums played in the GTFC boardroom as Peter Furneaux's ten years of chairmanship end today, and, as widely anticipated by the Diary, the ageing Mariners supremo has been replaced in the big seat by youthful local fish magnate John Fenty, who looks more of a Limp Bizkit kinda guy. After first taking the role in 1987, Furneaux oversaw the reconstruction of the club after the disastrous managerial appointments of Mick Lyons and Bobby Roberts, hiring the legendary Alan Buckley to take the Mariners back to England's second division, before stepping down due to ill health in 1994. Three heart attacks later, he returned for a second spell at the helm in 2001 as a unity candidate after the brief but ruinous tenure of Bryan Huxford's puppet chairman Doug Everitt, and despite presiding over back-to-back relegations in 2003 and 2004 deserves tremendous credit for keeping the club out of administration through a period when many of its better supported competitors have come perilously close to extinction.

Even as Furneaux returned as chairman, it was Fenty who bought the shares held by outgoing directors Colin Graves and Huxford's ally Dudley Ramsden to become the major shareholder in the club, and his accession to the top position in the boardroom has long been seen by many fans as a logical next step. Fenty became something of a de facto chairman during Furneaux's absence 'on holiday' in May, giving statements to the press and conducting Q&A sessions on the club's website, and was the key negotiator in bringing Russell Slade to Blundell Park around the same time. His emergence as chairman is unlikely to dispel rumours of new progress towards Town's long-delayed new stadium at Great Coates - particularly given the sale of his company in April, which raised something in the region of £15m to £20m.

But you know the Diary - I want to stay at Blundell Park, and let us not forget that recent Grimsby Telegraph interview in which Fenty called for the introduction to football of rugby league-style 'sin bins' and expressed the belief that renaming the fourth division 'League Two' could result in "serious benefits to this club". Is this a five star fishbone I'm choking on?

There was another official announcement today, but this game of musical chairmen has somewhat pushed Town's new away kit into the shadows. Having now examined the apparel in question, however, the Diary is quite satisfied that that's the best place for it.

There's another trialist. Andy Mumford. Defender. From Swansea. Says in the Telegraph. The Diary is now in the advanced stages of trialist fatigue, however, and is medically unable to tell you any more, other than that he will appear in Town's mysterious friendly at Gainsborough this evening, which is now reported as fact by no less estimable a source than the Lincolnshire Echo, although the Mariners' official website is still yet to breathe a byte on the matter. I fervently hopes it says summat soon, because I am considering hopping on a train to see the match: a journey I would be forced to consider wasted were a Scotland-Estonia-type scenario to unfold.

Another pointless item of outgoings from the Diary's bank account is the couple of quid each way I put on Bristol Rovers last week to win the fourth division title next season. My rationale was not, you understand, that Ian Atkins can manage his way out of a paper bag but simply, with that charmless Brummie hoof merchant signing up every player in the the fourth quadrant of the western spiral arm of the galaxy, that no other club in the division would be able to put a side out and his team would win every match by default. But now, given the possibility of Simon Ford lining up alongside Stuart Campbell for the Gasheads, I am beginning to wish I hadn't bothered.

That estimable veteran of the Diary's inbox, Mark Wilson, has taken me at my word and supplied a definition for 'strengthwork', the mysterious new training technique referred to yesterday by Mr Russell Slade. In doing so, I regret to say, he has revealed a hitherto unseen streak of cruelty. "Your request for definitions of strengthwork took me to the pages of the Collins Dictionary of Questionable Gags at the Expense of Grimsby Players," writes Mark. "It says: strengthwork (adj.), that which has been sadly lacking in Darren Mansaram's training schedule, see also heading, passing, holding the ball up, finishing." I take issue with this, Mr Wilson: Flash's goal against Preston on 16 November 2002 was a beauty.

Ooh, here we go! News about the Gainsborough match tucked away on the OS! "Directions: The Northolme is situated opposite the Texaco and Fina petrol stations on the A159 Gainsborough to Scunthorpe road." Er... so is that near the railway station, or what?