Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 27 July 2004

27 July 2004

"Which import will make the biggest impact this season?" asks a poll on Town's official website, requiring the user to choose from Patrick Kluivert, Djibril Cisse, Didier Drogba, Arjen Robben, Mateja Kezman, Liam Miller and Robin van Persie. The Diary's standard response to such an enquiry would normally be that I couldn't give an orang-utan's sperm sac, but as reports filter through from last night's friendly against Willem II I am wondering whether the survey ought to have added an option to vote for Thomas Pinault. The former Colchester midfielder (yeah, OK, it was about five years ago that he was imported) appears to have been the pretty passing, playmaking, sweetly dinking, deeply thinking star of the show at BP, with the Grimsby Telegraph bigging up his silky Gallic skills and the normally cool and collected Tony Butcher already whispering excitedly about the glory days of Dave Gilbert.

If it's results you're interested in, the Mariners held their Dutch visitors to a 1-1 draw. Pob Parkinson's 19th-minute header from Pinault's cross gave them a lead they held until a quarter of an hour from the end, when a defensive mix-up left some fella with an unpronounceable-looking name with space on the edge of the box, whence he lashed home past an otherwise improved Anthony Williams in the Town goal.

At this point the Diary is going to nick a letter from the Postbag, because it concerns last night's match and may therefore have lost a little topicality by the time Letters Ed gets back from his holiday in Dorset and spends another six months thinking about putting a new letters page together. "Any idea why, after getting int'l clearance, Abdul didn't play (according to the official website)?" writes Chris Howes. In fact, Chris, he played the first hour, proving once again that if you want the facts and you want them first, you shouldn't go anywhere near the OS.

Unless, of course, you're looking for next season's squad numbers, where they now appear in all their decimal glory. Assuming that the official site may be relied upon to provide this information correctly, the number 9 shirt will be donned by Quick Mick O'Reddy. The 7, which after last night you might think could have gone to Tom Le Pin, has been assigned to 'Our' Ashley Sestanovich, while Macca keeps number 2, Young Greg is promoted to 3, and... oh, I could be here all day. Go and have a look for yourself and earn 0.0003p for the club.

There again, though, there is as yet no mention on the OS of another friendly, on Thursday night, at Gainsborough, and yet the Grimsby Telegraph states quite plainly that this is the case. Maybe the Diary should start an unofficial text message service.
With most observers at last night's game deeming Abdou Tangara to have been a complete and utter plank, Mr Slade has left a squad number free for that elusive big target man he's been after - who, if Rob Jones signs from Stockport first, will probably be the final piece added to Russ's jigsaw before the season begins, and the Diary claims a jackpot prize as the one millionth user of the jigsaw analogy this summer. "I'm under an incredible timescale to be ready for the first game," Noddy says on Town's official website, adding: "It's like the egg-timer, it's difficult." Well, Russ, you turn it upside down when you start boiling your egg, and then when all the sand has run through, that's when you know it's ready. Oh, and you don't sign Clint Marcelle.