Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 17 August 2004

17 August 2004

Lanky centre-half Rob Jones may have "damaged his cartlidge", according to Town's official website, and if that's anywhere near his cartilage then he could be out of action for some time. This would at least explain Russell Slade's panic signing this morning of Glen Downey, from his former club Scarborough. Downey is a left-sided defender who should at least have plenty of energy left in him, having played just 15 times for the Chips since joining them in February 2003. Hell, he even scored a goal against Hereford in February 2004, and there aren't many of the current squad you can say that about. Town's official site, which brings you all the news first and accurately, straight from the heart of the club, says the player has been awarded a one-year deal, so when Slade told the Grimsby Telegraph that Downey "will probably be on a short-term contract", the OS must have been having a wee or something.

Perhaps troubled by Anthony Williams' kicking, or perhaps given fresh financial confidence by the bumper crowd at last Tuesday's Lincolnshire not-quite-derby against Boston, GTFC are considering the extravagant measure of employing a second goalkeeper with, like, any experience at all of first-team football. This, you see, is the outrageously profligate course of action suggested by the fact that Icelandic custodian Olafur Gottskalksson has arrived at Blundell Park for a trial and will presumably feature in the reserves' season opener at home to Halifax tomorrow afternoon. The player made 89 starts for Brentford between 2000 and 2002 after joining the Bees on a free from Hibernian, who in 1997 paid £200,000 for his services to Ollie's hometown club IB Keflavik. Diary readers are urged to report any sightings of John Fenty lighting cigars with 50-pound notes.

As Town's youthful second string prefer to take on the Shaymen, whose 1989 album In Gorbachev We Trust remains a minor classic of the indie/dance crossover movement of the time, the club's even more youthful youth team receive news of their participation in this season's Midland Youth Cup. And they probably think: "Grimsby's not in the Midlands, is it?" As for their opponents, young Master Twinkletoes Lightowler will be showing off to his mates against the flower of Lincoln City's young manhood at Sincil Bank on Monday 6 September. This paragraph is all over the place, isn't it. Sorry. If you want to go to the match, it'll cost you three quid and it starts at 7pm. Is that better?

If the Diary were a bit more awake today then I would doubtless conjure up some razor-sharp automobile-related pun to introduce the news that Simon Ford has signed for Bristol Rovers... er, I mean Bristol Rovers. Yeah, that's it. But I'm not, so I won't. But he has, anyway. On non-contract terms. Whatever that means. The former Mariners somnambulist has become Ian Atkins' 89th signing of the summer after playing several games for the Gasheads on a trial basis - including one in which he apparently scored from 20 yards and changed his name to Richard. Which is more than I've ever done, so who am I to mock, eh.