Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 9 August 2004

9 August 2004

"You were all optimistic a couple of hours ago," said Mrs Diary at around 4:35 on Saturday afternoon, as I greeted the news of what proved to be Darlington's winning goal against Town with a habitual nod of resigned misery. "I wasn't," I said. "I was excited. Not optimistic. Big difference." But if I did want to be optimistic then Noddy and the match reports (and there's a band name waiting to happen) are fairly unanimous that the multitude of GTFC chances denied by Darlo keeper Sam Russell would give me just cause. Andy Parkinson, who enjoyed a sparky debut for the Mariners, agrees, telling today's Grimsby Telegraph: "There were a lot of lads making their debuts today and it was encouraging that we made so many chances and in general played Continued on page 43." Who said online content shouldn't try and imitate the form of print media, eh?

Elsewhere in the Grimbo Telbo, Mr Slade is said to be pursuing a "veteran former Premiership full back" to replace Ronnie Bull, who seems to have been fielded at Darlo without having fully recovered from an injury - no change there, then - with exacerbated thigh gam and his absence from tomorrow night's game against Boston the result. Russ's work in the transfer market continues on the sly, with Exeter newspaper the Express & Echo reporting that a player called Steve Flack has rejected an approach to join the Mariners - with the response "Where the hell's Grimsby?" To which the only credible riposte is surely "And who the fuck is Steve Flack?"

Three wise men have emailed gifts to the Diary over the weekend, the first of whom is James Booth. "After reading Thursday's Diary and seeing Ladbrokes' prediction of Town to finish highest out of the Lincs clubs," writes the Hungary/Canada Mariner, "I noticed on Soccernet one of the 'pundits' is predicting Town to finish 6th in the division, but still be behind Boston and Lincoln. I am sure this would be more interesting were I able to deduce something from this. However, it's Friday and day 3 of a big music festival here in Budapest so I am much too tired to try to find any significance in this." Me neither, JB; I'm still reeling from the dizzying brilliance of Mississauga Goddam. Everything you've read about the Johnny Boy single is true, as well; it's awesome.

So to Daniel Braithwaite, who has very thoughtfully taken the time and trouble to email the Diary and say what most of you only think. "Congratulations," says Daniel the Man, "for such a superb website with such great humour. Keep it up lads and give us morrrrrreeeeeeeeee. UTM." Thank you very much! We will. We're always looking for new contributors, though, so if any of you reader types fancy helping us fulfil Daniel's fondest wish then please get in touch.

It falls to Dan Humphrey to conclude today's proceedings, and there could be a consolation prize for any of you who saw Mickael Antoine-Curier play and decided you could do a better job as a pro footballer, only to be disappointed last Friday when Darren Mansaram signed a new contract. "Do any Cod Almighty readers wish to play Sunday league football for the amazingly titled 100% Compensation Company FC?!?" asks Dan. "Our first full season is just about to start, and we could do with some new players!!" Be careful with all those exclamation marks, Dan, or Codswallop will be after you asking for them back. Anyone up for that, then? Email diary@codalmighty.com if you fancy illuminating the Sabbath with your sickly skills, and I will pass Dan your details. There's an article in this.