Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 5 August 2004
5 August 2004
Russell Slade's search for a new striker is over! The man he has brought in to complete his new-look forward line is described as a bustling young six-footer with a good turn of pace who has goals to his name at Division One level. Twenty-year-old Darren Mansaram, who was previously on the books at Grimsby Town, has penned a week-to-week contract at Blundell Park and could go straight into the reckoning for Saturday's trip to Darlington.
The crowd at Blundell Park for next week's visit by Lincolnshire sort-of-neighbours Boston could be even larger than the obscenely distended abdomen of the Pilgrims' new player-coach Paul Gascoigne, if today's Grimsby Telegraph is to be taken seriously. The club's accounts manager Steve Wraith explains that, with five days still remaining before the game, over 500 "matchday tickets" have been shifted: a level of demand he says was not attained during the whole of last season. The Telegraph suggests that "Gazza-mania" could be a factor in this not recently precedented stampede for tickets, but the fact that next Tuesday marks the first ever competitive game between Town and the men from York Street may sound more appealing to those seeking an explanation that doesn't make the population of North East Lincs sound very sad indeed.
Remaining with matters that pertain to England's second largest county, high street turf accountant Ladbrokes is offering odds on which of the four Lincolnshire clubs in the fourth division will finish highest - and guess who are the favourites! GTFC can be backed at 13/8 to top this parochial bragfest, although the 15/8 on offer for Keith Alexander's seasoned Lincoln battlers sounds a little more attractive to Diary ears. Boston - the only one of Town's three county rivals not managed by a Blundell Park reject - are priced at 9/4, while Scunthorpe's woeful 2003-04 campaign is doubtless the key factor determining their position as 7/1 outsiders.
As you know, it's not often that the Diary is wrong about anything, and my recent suggestion that Russell Slade's Sheffield United connections were the key to Matlock Town's Danny Holland turning up on trial at Blundell Park is no exception, it appears. A piece in today's Sheffield Star confirms that Slade was tipped off about the player by Bramall Lane boss Neil Warnock after his hat-trick against the Blades in a recent pre-season friendly. "When I saw Danny I thought he could definitely do a job at that level," explains our old mate Neil. "I telephoned Russell and told him he was worth a look." The piece goes on to describe "an unofficial partnership" between the two bosses, but the Diary trusts that most Town fans will be sufficiently broad-minded not to judge their team's new manager by the company he keeps.
Poor old Guest Diary has had to get a job, and so you'll have to make do with somebody else for the next few Fridays - but not before he's had his two penn'orth in an email. "Out of what-feels-like several thousand trialists invited to the club by successive generations of Town managers (starting with Lawrence), how many have actually signed contracts and played for the first team?" asks GD. "A rhetorical question, maybe, but the answer must be incredibly low, unless the work has fuddled my ageing brain. I must be going through one of my is-it-all-really-worth-it morning depressions again, but it seems a lot of effort for little reward." Indeed so, Guest; and it doesn't look like our Russ is going to trust the judgement of his pal Colin W on the aforementioned matter of Danny Holland either. Stay in touch and don't work too hard. Readers: can you think of any really successful signings for Town that have resulted from a trial? Email diary@codalmighty.com if you can.
Letters Ed is promising a new Cod Almighty letters page any minute now. I've heard that one before, mind, and I'm going to nick Andy Walters' email anyway, because he refers to the description in yesterday's Diary of Tony Crane as "former Sheffield Wednesday heffalump". "In the Winnie The Pooh stories heffalumps were proved to not exist," Andy points out. "Piglet was scared shitless when he thought he saw one, but it was only Pooh with a jar of honey on his head. As you do. Are you suggesting Tony Crane should scare the bejeezus out of people while roaming the land with a jar of honey on his head? (and where would we find a jar big enough?) Or are you suggesting Tony Crane is just a figment of our imaginations? Anyway, even if we do see him or not, it's not the time of year for heffalumps, I hear." Well, that's because he's suspended, Andy.
And finally - heh, heh! - Town fans could be set for more penalty miss-based schadenfreude next season, as Tony Gallimore has signed for fourth division rivals Rochdale - but is already unlikely to line up in the Lancashire side's visit to Scunny on Saturday after picking up an injury in pre-season on account of not being arsed to train for five months.