Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 28 September 2004

28 September 2004

"It's not that I like him better than you, the Diary - I'm just giving him a chance to prove himself." It was certainly an original way to dump me; I had to credit her with that - and 18 years down the line Russell Slade has taken a leaf out of Michelle's book and brought in a load of reserves for tonight's Auto Windvans LCD Screen Vase Challenge game at Carlisle. Reserves who are probably right thickies and think it's cool to smoke and won't treat him as nice as I would have. As the first team would have, I mean. Hence a first start of the season for Graham Hockless, whose two or three cracking goals last season have installed him as the successor to Terry Cooke and Phil Jevons as glorious saviour to the muddle-headed, and returns to the side for Ronnie Bull and entirely pointless loan acquisition Paul Robinson. Colin Cramb is also set to make his debut after completing a short-term move from Shrewsbury after all, and Rob Jones makes his first-team comeback after recovering from, I dunno, whatever it was, knee stuff.

Does this mean the Mariners' opportunity to regain the trophy they won one mild April afternoon in 1998 is to be passed up without so much as a whimper? Carlisle, after all, are in formidable form in the Conference right now, having just lamped Aldershot - Darren Barnard and all - by five goals to none. Not necessarily, as Thomas Pinault returns this evening, and - would you believe the cheek of it - the Cumbrians' manager Paul Simpson is himself intending to rest a few players. If the Diary were a betting man, I'd still fancy a punt on the non-League outfit to topple Town's applecart this evening, but gambling is the vilest of sins, the Devil's own pastime, a sure path to ruin, destitution and eternal damnation, and I've forgotten my password for Bet365.com.

Apologies, anyway, for my absence from this page since last Thursday, but the Diary's trusty spade of research never ceases its loving toil of delving through the fertile soil of football, and I have discovered that, in his reincarnation at Dundee, Iain Anderson - one of the biggest disappointments of Town's 2003-04 season, which is sure to be remembered forever by supporters as the Season of Many Big Disappointments - is slowly starting to give a toss about anything again ("Last season Grimsby lived up to its name," announces the Sunday Herald's Natasha Woods, cryptically). Meanwhile Olafur Gottskalksson, the not-retired-after-all Icelandic keeper Town were trialing a few months ago, is signing for third-flight Torquay, and Russell Slade's other current entirely pointless loan signing, Chris Williams, is likely to go back to Stockport early, as in this week, presumably after Slade realised that his current signing on loan was entirely pointless.

Today's last word goes to Paul Thundercliffe, who has emailed the Diary with a singularly pithy observation. "Just a thought," writes Paul, "but how does Bernard Morley get to the home games?" Yeth, very pithy. Thankth.