Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 9 September 2004

9 September 2004

The Town players have drawn their lots to see whose turn it is to say to a reporter: "Ooh, we're gonna have to start getting some decent results," and this time it's veteran right-back and fledgling right wing-back John McDermott who's got the short straw. "We've done a bit of work this week and hopefully this weekend will be a good test and it's important that we start picking up some points away from home," the player recited drearily to Radio Humberside this morning in an interview for which a desperately shabby transcription now appears on the BBC Humber website. Exhibit A, m'lud: the next sentence to appear on the page, which reads: "I think going to Macclesfield, Brian Houghton who likes to get down and play will suit us." As the Diary prepares an economical lunch of chargrilled potato peelings in a flour and water dressing, I can only wonder what these muppets are being paid... the BBC Humber website people, I hasten to add, not the GTFC squad.

Sorry - I really am being even more crotchety than usual this week, aren't I? I'll try and be a bit more semibrevey, starting now. If you're going to the Leyton Orient game a week on Saturday then you can win two free children, or something. No, that can't be right. You can take two children in free with you. Yeah, that'll be it. All the usual stuff about being a "full paying adult" probably applies, which still seems terribly harsh on amputees.

Before football managers become "poised" to "unveil" new players, they have to "swoop". In this context, "swoop" means to approach a player's club to enquire as to his availability for transfer, and then, should such an approach be agreeable to that club, discuss with the player and/or his agent the terms and conditions applicable to his proposed new situation of employment, before finally having legal documentation drawn up to embody said terms and contract the player formally to his new employer. You can sort of see why journalists abbreviate it, but it does rather overdramatise, don't you think? Any old how, Brian Horton, who has turned Macclesfield from Conference dead certs to fourth division promotion potential in just a few short months, is planning just such a "swoop" ahead of his side's meeting with the Mariners this Saturday, says a website called Manchester Online. Which is not that interesting, really, is it. Don't know why I bothered running it.

What I should have led today's Diary with, in fact, is the altogether more absorbing news that Russell 'Sign Loan Players? Not Me! You're Having A Laugh' Slade is aiming to make his third and fourth loan signings within the space of a week in order to shore up Town's defence ahead of this weekend's aforementioned Cheshire football jamboree. "I am looking at two players to try and give us help at the back," the Mariners boss tells today's Grimsby Telegraph. "It isn't easy but with four centre-backs injured at the same time - including two for lengthy spells - we have to try and sort something out. I have been in discussions with the board and am trying to tie something up. I have two in mind at the moment - one from the Championship and one from the Premiership. It's still early days but hopefully we can sort something out with one of them." Slade's explanation to the official website of his own club is somewhat less expansive. "Hopefully we can get somebody in before Macclesfield," he says. Someone on the OS must have really upset him.

Well, let's hope these potato peelings perk me up a bit. See yer next week.