Cod Almighty | Article
by Andy Holt
1 October 2002
Before the ITV Digital deal Sky Sports held the rights to live Nationwide League football. One of their many ways of making the "product" appear more appealing to the "consumer" was to include Fanzone with every live match they covered.
The general idea was that two fans - one representing each team - would sit and provide their own totally unbiased commentary. Using Sky's vacuous interactive coverage you could choose the fans' banter over Mike Parry and Alan Brazil's plosive mutterings.
Everyone dreams of being on tv one day and, thanks to Fanzone, Andy Holt managed that. Twice. Tony Rogers asks the questions.
How did you end up on Fanzone then?
I'd just got Sky Sports added to my OnDigital package (rented house, couldn't have a dish and didn't have cable in my area) when I saw Fanzone advertised. It looked like fun. This was probably before the 2000/01 season started.
I didn't do anything until it was announced that Grimsby would host West Brom on 29 October, live on Sky Sports. So I took a chance. I checked the Sky Sports website and found that all you had to do was send an email. So I did. On 20 September.
Nothing happened for a while and I was beginning to give up hope when one day at work I received an email from the Fanzone producer at the time, Ruth Hayman. She basically gave me a little phone interview discussing how long I'd supported Grimsby and that sort of thing and told me she'd get back to me. A couple of days later she phoned back to say I'd got in and to arrange a time and place for collection.
Sky Sports sent a car to pick me up from home (it was a Sunday match). Very nice it was too. Leather seats and everything. I sat in the front so I could talk to the driver. Hey, I'm not letting this chauffeur stuff go to my head.
I was dropped off at the security gate and signed in and then waited for one of Ruth's lackeys to come and collect me and the West Brom fan. He took us into the complex and showed us around the place a bit. We saw the Soccer AM studio, the Sky Sports News room, and a few other sets you might recognise. I saw a picture on the wall of Kirsty [Gallacher], but sadly she was elsewhere.
We were taken up to the staff canteen and were given free rein on the food. Which was nice. While we ate the guy with us talked us through some of the rules, like no swearing and stuff, and then got us to sign a contract. And then he asked for our bank details. We were getting paid for this? Yes, it turned out we were. £150, no less! I turned up to do it as I thought it would be fun. I didn't expect to be paid.
The day had started brightly. And was only going to get better.
What was the studio like?
Before the match we were taken over the road to another lot where the pre-match and half-time summary bits are filmed.
The guy hosting the show asked us a few questions to get some info he could use in his spiel, and then us two Fanzone people were recorded sat in the guests' chairs pretending to talk to each other. This bit of film was mixed in with the opening few minutes' talk to show us.
In actuality where the Fanzone is done though is this tiny little box room. Two chairs at a desk with a simple soundboard thing, two mikes, two pairs of headphones, and a widescreen tv.
Behind us was a technical desk, where the bloke who'd met us and done the contract and stuff sat. Not quite sure what he was there for, just to make sure it all went ok and to beat us over the head if we swore or something I guess.
Before we the match we did a quick sound level check and had to talk normally and then scream out loud like we'd scored. That was a bit bizarre, creating the emotion of Town scoring but without them actually scoring.
We were told just to relax and have a conversation "like we were just down the pub". We were warned that security were just down the corridor too. Whatever did he mean?
What was the chap sat across from you like?
Don't remember much about the Baggie fan, Mark Currie, except that he was a nice enough bloke. Coincidentally I was watching the Baggies v Blackburn game last night and flicked on to Fanzone to find that Mark was there again. A 2-0 loss for his team again too. Poor bloke.
Did you feel more comfortable and confident as the match went on?
Definitely got easier as time went on. Just relaxed into it and it flowed better. Talking crap comes easy. Can't remember that much about the match. Did they dominate the first half? Was it even? I just remember we came out in the second half and Brad scored a cheeky lob on 59 minutes as the Baggie backline moved out for offside. Taking the lead was like an adrenalin injection and the last half hour the words flowed.
You mentioned not being allowed to swear during the commentary. Surely watching Grimsby play you found this difficult.
Surprisingly not actually. I just imagined my mum was stood behind me for the duration of the match with a big rolling pin. That successfully dried up the expletive urges.
Any outstanding memories?
Got to be Nielsen's winner. 84 minutes. Donovan broke to the by-line and pulled it back. Nielsen running in slammed a volley into the back of the net. His second goal for us. The golden-booted star had done it again. Here was our hero. How things change.
As we were leaving the second lot to go back to our tiny box room, before the match, Buckley was being ushered into the studio to take his place as one of the studio guests. Predictable. I heard his dulcet tones approaching and had a quick chuckle to myself.
Being told I was going to get paid was quite nice too.
How did you end up going back for the second time?
Late on in the 2000/01 season Blackburn were fighting with Fulham for the top spot. Or maybe it was with Bolton for Second or something. Anyhow it was a crucial match. So Sky decided the day before the match, to televise it.
As soon as I saw that I sent another email to Ruth letting her know my availability. Within half an hour she'd phoned back and arranged a car to pick me up from work and everything. The joys of living dahn sarf and not too far from the Sky Sports studio. We still needed points for survival too, I think.
Somehow, maybe by a message board posting, other Town fans heard I'd been chosen to do Fanzone again. Later that day I got an email from Ruth telling me she's received complaints that I'd been chosen again. Just sour grapes I reckon.
Any differences the second time?
As it was an evening match it was much more of a rush job. A very similar sort of thing to the first time, but without the tour or filming of us chatting.
I remember you going on about you being in an ad for Sky Sports. When you heard a snippet of you on the ad what was that like? Did they warn you?
Yeah, watching a Fanzone trailer just before the next season I suddenly noticed a clip of Livvo with a soundbite over it. It was me talking. And then there was Nielsen's goal. And my commentary again. I sat there in shock. I'd been immortalised. Well, kind of.
My 180 minutes of fame. And now I was in a trailer too. Nice.