Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Wednesday 26 January 2005
26 January 2005
You know times are getting tough when Town can't raise a team for a reserve game at Lincoln - and with that, I've given you a massive early clue as to what today's lead story is about. Here's another: it's nothing to do with Darren Mansaram scoring for Halifax last night. That's right, folks - GTFC asked the Imps if they wouldn't mind putting off this afternoon's scheduled second-string fixture, just until such time as enough fringe players are fit, some trialists actually bother turning up, and some of the regular reserve team finish revising for their SATs. Luckily for Town, their Lincolnshire neighbours have very magnanimously said, yes, that's fine, why don't you come back on Wednesday 23 February instead, perhaps in a bid to repay some of the boundless generosity shown towards them by the Mariners' back three last Saturday.
It is doubtful whether this largesse will extend to using some of their astonishing record profit to help out Town with the Tax Thing, but it is probably the least Lincoln can do to donate a proportion of the proceeds from their hastily released DVD of their 4-2 triumph at Blundell Park. Shall we start a campaign? It's not as if they'd have managed it without us.
Lots of people went to the fans' forum at BP last night to ask John Fenty lots of questions about the Tax Thing and Russell Slade lots of questions about formations. The Grim Tel reckons Russ might finally do right by Andy Parkinson and put him on the wing, but the Diary cannot yet tell you what Positive John said because the club's official site says it's not going to be publishing details until later, and I didn't need to go because I am dead clever and know everything in the world.
Speaking of the OS, it's a shame it hasn't followed the example of more than 70 other official club sites and run anything about this Saturday's Clubs in Crisis day at the Racecourse Ground. It may still be uncertain whether we are meant to consider the Mariners as officially in crisis or not, but Wrexham certainly are, and fans from dozens of clubs are to descend on north Wales this weekend to show their support for the Red Dragons in what Fans United organiser Nic Outterside estimates "could be the biggest display of football fan unity this country has ever seen". The Clubs in Crisis website gives more details.
With that we return to the Diary's bulging postbag and the issue of footballers who have blown on the windy side of the law. "Seeing your alleged criminal record of Mr Love in the Diary," writes Mike Dunderdale, "it reminded me of something my wife said to me the other day - it's not often my wife gives me footy intelligence. Her friend's son plays for a local pub team (no she didn't know the name) in the Rutland area, who recently lost 5-0 to the HMP Ashwell prison team, with the hat-trick hero being a Mr Lee Hughes. Nice to know his talents didn't drive off into the sunset then."
Dan Humphrey, meanwhile, has emailed to ask: "Hey guys, continuing on your recent theme, is it about time for a pro-Pinault banner? Is it fair to say most Town fans are self-confessed Pinault-philes?" Well, Dan, as recently as the Lincoln match the CA team were discussing whether stubborn Mr Russell Slade's determination to leave the Professor on the bench actually grows in proportion to the supporters' vehemence in insisting that he should start. We are beginning to wonder whether some reverse psychology might not be in order, and that only a 'Pinault out' campaign would see Tom restored to the first XI.
"And what is happening with Wheeler?" Dan asks. "A successful loan spell or not? Soames: injured or out of favour? The GET are silent on these matters..." These are the questions on everyone's lips, and the answers are: (a) they want rid of Wheeler but he's still under contract; (b) still injured, probably, not sure though; and (c) Winston Churchill. If you don't know the answer when you're playing Trivial Pursuit, just say Winston Churchill, and you have a 12 per cent chance of being right.
Finally, we discover today that Paolo di Moranio - he of the top cake-baking girlfriend - has the somewhat disappointing but altogether more plausible real name of Paul Moran. The beans have been spilled, and hopefully not on the cake, by Paul's mate Rob Stones, who has emailed to say he actually tasted the Mariners-themed dessert item in question. "Bloody tasty it was too," he writes. "And so it should have been, given that I'd been forced to make the long journey up from London to Nottingham in order to taste it, therefore missing out on the Mariners' only London game of the season. The cake wasn't the only reason for making the trip of course, although as it happened it turned out to be one of the highlights. Having already been mugged of 18 quid for the privilege of watching a truly dire performance at Wycombe earlier this season, I dread to think how much they were charging to watch division 4 football at Brisbane Road. Typically, the Mariners went and pulled off what will probably be the highlight of their season. Nuff said...
"Anyway," concludes Rob, "my thanks go to Paul's girlfriend Liz - the Mariners' very own Delia Smith - albeit about 30 years younger and a hell of a lot nicer looking. (And, unfortunately for us, lacking an estimated personal fortune of 24 million quid to pump into the club.)" It's these cute little flaws that keep a guy interested, though, eh.