Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 24 January 2005

24 January 2005

Put down your weapons. The Diary is back, and I haven't had my dinner.

North East Lincolnshire, as you know, is a repository of folk wisdom, and the Grimsby area in particular is famed for its wise old sayings. One example is: "Garlic? Urrgh! I'm not eating any of that foreign muck!" Another is: "If it's Monday then there'll be a former QPR striker and a former Cameroon under-21 international on trial at Blundell Park." And how true the latter rings today, as Richard Pacquette and Kingsley Mbome report for duty in DN35. The latter is being released by Town's fourth division rivals Cambridge as they bid to avoid dropping into the Conference, which hardly bodes well; on the other hand, Halifax were bottom of the league when Town signed Paul Futcher from them. Pacquette, who is described as "an absolute top bloke" by a mate of CA's Andy Holt who used to play alongside him in non-League, seems to have been registered with Stevenage Borough for all of five minutes - then again, have you ever been there? - and was apparently an unstoppable goal machine in one early version of Champ Manager. Mind you, so was Andy Parkinson.

This Tax Thing seems to have been the object of some discussion while the Diary has been away, and Chairman John is demonstrating his willingness to enter into the spirit of things by sitting at a fans' forum organised jointly by the club and the supporters' trust. Mr Fenty, who has recently been copying the Diary's mum by advising people that if they can't say anything nice then they shouldn't say anything at all, is to appear at McMenememenmy's tomorrow night to answer fans' questions about said Tax Thing in his best shirt and shoes. Tickets cost two of your Earth pounds.

Sorry to everyone who emailed last week, while I was away, since it is only now that we can turn our attention to your musings. It's nice to hear from Dan 'Same Initials And Number Of Letters In His Names As Des Hamilton' Humphrey again after a long absence, but Paolo di Moranio is certain to become the envy many a Town fan after sending us this lovely picture of a cake his girlfriend iced to celebrate the Mariners' win over Orient the other Saturday. If you fancy bringing her along to meet the CA team for a pre- or post-match drink any time, Paolo, do feel free. It's either that or setting up a cake stand at the back of the Pontoon to raise money for the Inland Revenue.

Roast A, meanwhile, has a question of the 'where are they now?' variety. "After seeing Tony 'Anthony' Williams look even more uncomfortable then me in the exam hall," writes Roast enigmatically, "my question is: whatever happened to Andy 'Where Is The' Love? I've heard some rumours that he actually works for our beloved North East Lincs council (cheers for reducing my mum's pay, council). Surely this is not the case? Will you be able to find out please Diary?" Only by asking the readers, Roast. Readers, is it true? Is Town's former skinhead goalkeeping legend now on the public payroll? Enquiring minds need to know.

Oh yeah - Town lost 4-2 to Lincoln the other day, didn't they? Nearly forgot. Pinault is God, et cetera, et cetera.