Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 11 February 2005

11 February 2005

It was late on last night, and I was half asleep, to be honest. The reporter quoted her as having said something like: "We are not looking at that today. We are interested in other, more important things." Since her retirement, and descent into complete and utter full-blown bloody madness, your Guest Diarist is worried that he is finding himself increasingly fond of the sayings of Maggie Thatcher. The lady is right - who gives a flying fuck about the self-absorbed tax-dodging royal family when Town have a match tomorrow? That is a more important thing, although she may have been referring to her ne'er-do-well son, or where she has mislaid Denis, or what's left of him. Home to Shrewsbury; a side with a decent striker who hasn't scored for ages. You know what that means, gentle reader. I am rarely wrong on these matters.

Having successfully convinced Mr Slade to play his best available players all at the same time, and in roughly the right positions, last week, Martin Gritton is no doubt slightly relieved to read the official website today and learn that the rumours of Tony Crane returning as emergency striker are unfounded. Martin's ankle is still playing up, so he does remain a doubt, although it is odds-on he will make it to start tomorrow. Ronnie Bull is available again after suspension, but the match sponsors will be denied the chance to nominate Jason Crowe as the man of the match, as he is still injured.

Coldicott and Whittle are suspended, so the Hockless-to-start rumours are abounding. Given that the average height of the crowd tomorrow will be much reduced due to the kids-go-free day, maybe Mr Slade will think that it's time to do the same with the team. Oh, and Rob Jones is still rubbing his back and grimacing. The Telegraph says he is definitely out tomorrow. Pass him the fiery jack, somebody.

Cod Almighty bigwig Pete Green is planning a spot of armed robbery this weekend - or so he tells the Grimsby Telegraph. Which is really weird, because I was daydreaming about serious crime myself, this very morning. I figured the only way for me to make a meaningful dent in Town's bloody great tax bill was to rob a bank and then donate the proceeds by buying a huge quantity of match tickets every week. If anyone fancies joining my gang, drop me a line.

Si Wilson has been on again. This time he's guilty of reading articles about Carshalton Athletic. Right down at the bottom it mentions that famous ex-Town luminary, er, Topy Arojogon. A winger, or an anagram? The best entry will receive a smashing prize.

I'm signing off now, for a few weeks, you will be perhaps relieved to read, as a man has asked me to knock down some buildings brick by brick. I'll be back when I've finished. Enjoy the game tomorrow - I will. See yer.