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Diary - Tuesday 29 March 2005

29 March 2005

Moonlighting was a horrible American 1980s TV series based around a detective agency staffed by conflicting but mutually attracted partners played by Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis before he made much more money out of roles that chiefly involved running away from large explosions in grubby vests. Moonlighting, on the other hand, is what the lexically challenged staff of the BBC Humber website appear to be doing on the official website of Grimsby Town FC, if today's OS interview with Graham 'Rodgers' Rodger is anything to go by. "I'm quite please that it wasn't so cold today or we might have had Tony Williams going off to hospital for frost bight," is the way the post-match utterances of Town's assistant manager are transcribed, proving once more that a spellchecker is to literacy problems as a tablet of paracetamol is to decapitation.

The gist of Grezbo's rap, anyhow, is that he was reasonably pleased with his side's performance in yesterday's dreary goalless draw at Blundell Park against an understandably defence-obsessed Rushden & Diamonds team, notwithstanding the Mariners' disappointing finishing. Reports elsewhere that speak of Scott Shearer's magnificent goalkeeping performance for the visitors should not be taken seriously, since on the two attempts Town's attacking play persuaded him that bodily motion might be necessary, he looked bloody awful, and would surely have shipped one or two had the black and whites tested him a little more rigorously. Given the improvement we have witnessed since last Easter, however, when a team purporting to represent GTFC rolled over and died twice for the convenience of Queens Park Rangers' promotion campaign and Blackpool's consolidation in the third flight, it was once again bloody moronic to boo Town off yesterday, and now we've got another opposition manager telling us our fans are shit. That was a public information film.

Ooh, and the reason Rodge was in charge yesterday, unless I fell asleep on the way home and only dreamt that it was on Radio Humberside, was that Mr Russell Slade's missus was in labour. Since Russ is sure to risk missing the birth with a desperate dash out of the maternity unit to catch this afternoon's Diary, let's give him and his loved ones some hearty congratulations or happy wishes or whatever it is you say when somebody has a baby. Hooray!

One little cherub Russ is unlikely to be pressing close to his loving bosom any more is Ronnie Bull. Hauled off at half time during the side's awful 3-1 defeat at Bury, the former Millwall left-back now appears to be one of the unfortunate footballers angrily declared by Sort It after the match to be on his way out of Blundell Park in the summer after he was omitted from the 16 on duty against Rushden. Russ, of course, said he'd decided "one or two" players would not be offered new terms, so We Imagine Learning Later If Another Mightn't Stay.

Elsewhere in lovely Lincolnshire, that charming Mr Evans could be in trouble for reckoning he's Mourinho. Just as he insisted that Town managed a 1-1 draw against his world-beating Boston side back in August only by virtue of the Blundell Park crowd comprising a 12th man, Macclesfield apparently escaped a home defeat by the Pilgrims yesterday because "If Brian Horton spends 10 minutes of half-time in the ref's room then no wonder he gets decisions." Cuddly Steve may now be reported to the League Managers' Association by his Macc counterpart. A little further north, meanwhile, that nice Mr Laws made it nine away games without a win by managing his Scunthorpe side to a 2-0 defeat at Sincil Bank last night... and guess who their next but one away game is against? Yeah. Bugger.

We all know York City are the new West Brom, what with their penchant for re-employing GTFC cast-offs. We all know about their comically renamed-for-the-sponsor stadium; indeed, some of us even saw Look North when they announced Bootham Crescent would be known hereafter as the Kit-Kat Stadium, and they found a fan who hadn't heard yet, and told him, and he said simply: "You're having a laugh!" Which, funnily enough, is exactly what we were doing. But can any of you tell me anything about the city of York? Baby Brother Diary, you see, has targeted the minster city for a belated university education, but knows nothing about where's nice to live and where to avoid. Can any Diary readers with a knowledge of the place give us the lowdown? Please email diary@codalmighty.com if you can. Much obliged.