Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 17 June 2005

17 June 2005

They couldn't get anyone to write today's Diary, so it's your regular Diary pressed back into service this Friday lunchtime, like a 48-year-old goalkeeping coach hastily registered as a player to cover a sudden injury crisis. Hello! My feet are killing me.

We've had Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day and Valentine's Day, and they've even tried Grandparents' Day; but today, ladies and gentlemen, is Jamie Day. Rather than encouraging everyone you know called Jamie to feel mortally wounded if you don't spend pots of cash buying them things they don't need, however, Jamie Day is a 19-year-old midfielder with Welling United of the Conference South, and the reason he is of concern to us at this point in the history of the human species is that Russell Slade apparently wants him to be a 19-year-old midfielder with Grimsby Town of the fourth division instead. The story is that Barnet (also now of the fourth division) were after him as well but ended their interest when Welling, not unreasonably given that the player still has a year on his contract, said they'd want a fee for him. Money is clearly no object to the big-spending Mariners, though, as the player's agent (Conference South players have agents?) has told Murdoch Sports: "Russell Slade at Grimsby is keen... I think he's been talking to Jason Crowe, who was with Jamie at Arsenal, as a reference." So as long as Welling don't want more than £5,000 and the reference isn't "Yeah, it's great, you can spend half the year injured and the other half just running around five yards away from the ball every now and then", we should be fine.

Staying daaaahn saaaaaarf for the moment, 'ere, can yer look after the stall fer a minute? You bleeeedin' toe-raaaahg! And you could knock me daaaahn wiv a fevvah if Ronnie Bull isn't a perfect name for an Eastenders character. The Mariners left-back whose supporters would best describe his approach as enthusiastic is, remarkably, being linked by the Saaaaaarfend Evening Echo with a move to promoted Saaaaaarfend, his recent trial at Wycombe having presumably come to nought. If all else fails, Ronnie, then Johnny Allen's always on the lookout for a young fella who can handle himself.

Another former Town left-back, except this time one who was good, Gary Croft, might be staying at Cardiff after all, reports BBC Sport. The one-time electronic taggee was released by former Bluebirds boss Lennie Lawrence - that's former Bluebirds boss Lennie Lawrence - at the end of last season but was told he might get a new deal if he could prove his fitness, but has now been told, er, he might get a new deal if he can prove his fitness. Well, that was a waste of space, wasn't it.

I have received about 54 kapillion emails from you lot about fish and chip shops. Too many, in fact, to run in the Diary. So we're going to do something else with them. Watch this space. For the moment we will restrict ourselves to Keith Falla, if that doesn't sound a little uncomfortable either for us or him, who writes: "Martyn Wyburn is correct when he says no-one working at Grimsby Fisheries, Leicester, knows where Grimsby is. Yorkshire was the reply I was given. I really had to educate the girl who was serving!" I wonder if we should send them a T-shirt. Keith continues: "There is a fish van that trundles around the Wigston area claiming to sell Grimsby fish. Otherwise Leicester is bereft of any notable fish emporiums. If you want a curry, I have to admit, you have to come to Leicester." Uh-oh. I now declare these floodgates officially open.

Staying in Leicestershire, which is a shame because there aren't any easily-parodied BBC television soap operas based there, and I don't know how you'd transcribe a comedy Leicestershire accent anyway, we have an email from Loughborough Mariner on the subject of Town's latest fund-raising entertainment gubbins. I wasn't going to mention it, because golf is, of course, utterly evil; but I can't very well avoid it now. "Just reading about the golf day on the OS," writes Loughborough, "and noticed that you get an 'early evening lunch' thrown in for your £50. What's one of them when it's at home?" Candour compels me to confess, mate, that I haven't got a bastard clue. A baguette at six o'clock? "I'm just off for my late afternoon breakfast," concludes Loughborough in befuddlement. Email diary@codalmighty.com if you work for Town's official website and can bring clarification on this important issue - or indeed if you don't work for Town's official website and you just want to take the piss.

Bye! Have a nice weekend!