Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 21 July 2005

21 July 2005

Back in January a report published by the Football League on payments to players' agents revealed that the parasites sucked the not insignificant sum of £24,020 from the body of Grimsby Town between July and December 2004 - a rate of expenditure, as the Diary put it at the time, roughly equivalent to one season ticket every two days. Today the FL has published figures for the 2004-05 season as a whole, and Town's subsidy to the cigar industry remains at £24,020, suggesting rather strongly that the club made no further payments to agents during the second half of last season (the club's official website seemingly having misread the figures). Interestingly, Scunthorpe attained promotion not only with a lettuce for a manager but also as one of 13 of the 72 Football League clubs that spent not a penny on agents' fees all season. The other 59 forked out £7.8m between them, the vast majority by second-flight clubs and 'only' £325,000 by sides in the fourth division. FL chairman, Arsenal fan, and former Secretary of State for Northern Ireland Sir Brian Mawhinney is getting a bit worked up about it, but the Mr 10%s are unlikely to lose much sleep given his track record in trying to sort out the Ulster thing and stop FIFA extending its transfer window to clubs below the Premiership.

Lee Fowler is now back at Huddersfield, with his manager Peter Jackson declaring that "it doesn't look like anything will happen" regarding a transfer to the Mariners. The erstwhile midfield trialist's hopes of winning a playing contract with Grimsby Town Football Club are rumoured to have been ended by his completely unprofessional insistence on passing the ball attractively along the floor.

So Mr Russell Slade may have done little so far to fulfil hopes that he might emulate the great Alan Buckley in terms of playing style and results, but one area in which he does seem to follow the example of Town's most successful manager ever is that of signing and trialing players he has already worked with elsewhere. Perhaps the latest of these - or perhaps not; we don't know everything - is David Pounder, a midfielder recently released on a free transfer by Slade's previous club Scarborough. According to the Scarborough Evening News, the player tried his luck at Blundell Park earlier this summer before going on to trials with Conference sides Tamworth and York; and before you start sneering, remember that mulleted Mariners midfield maestro John Cockerill only came to play for his hometown club via Stafford Rangers.

The footballer variously known as Pal Kamudimba, Jean-Paul Kamudimba, Jean-Paul Kamudimba Kalala and just plain old Jean-Paul has now moved his stuff from France to Cleethorpes, poor bugger, but has apparently still not received that pesky international clearance. Town are insisting that he will be internationally cleared today, though, allowing him to take part in the friendly against Rotherham tomorrow night.

Last of all this week, then, before your regular Diary makes way for a Friday guest writer, comes a juicy email from a juicy guy. "I've heard tell that John Lukic's father, errrr, John, has become Town's keeper coach," writes Michael Shelton. "Don't know if he's being paid or is just helping his son out for free. Since Lukic senior obviously wasn't signed with the intention of being played, please may I be the first cynic to suggest that after seeing what not having a goalkeeper coach did to his team last season, Slade signed Little Lukic as a cover for getting his dad's services?" With a mind that works like that, Mr Shelton, you could almost write the Diary.