Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 19 July 2005

19 July 2005

The current round of pre-season friendlies may have given little indication so far that Mr Russell Slade may move on from his easily exploited 3-4-3 formation, but to give credit to innovation where it's due, Town's official website has found another way to spell the name of Nick Hegarty (I make that four now). The bright young forward - and I'm not just talking about his glowing ginger noggin - netted a late consolation goal last night following good work from Gary Cohen after two second-half strikes by the visiting side Big Sheffield Wednesday.

Overall last night's performance is being welcomed as an improvement on the hoofing competition that passed for a football match last week - not least in terms of Town's goalkeeper, who had supporters asking: "Who are you and what have you done with Wayne Brown?" Unfortunately for Raging Russ, the on-trial/on-loan/on-holiday-in-Cleethorpes Chester custodian has been offered a contract by a Danish club, and the pastry in North East Lincolnshire just can't compete. The indefatigable John Pakey, meanwhile, has emailed to bemoan an injury sustained last night by Simon Ramsden and ask: "Is it only Grimsby who could have a player who manages to injure his arse? Then thinking back to the Ivano incident with a plate of chicken it just all seems to fit." Me, I thought Gluteus Maximus was a gladiator.

Fancy a bit of gratuitous gossip? I do, because I've just got back from the pub, which is why today's Diary is a bit late. Terry Barwick was on the brink of signing for Brigg Town before our Town grabbed him. FACT? You've seen him play; what do you think?

Better get this finished quick then. First a couple more emails, though. Mark Wilson writes: "I completely accept 'some bloke called Steve's' point about Adidasgate not being high on Nike's agenda; that's why I wrote to you about it and not them." Fair enough. I think. "Mr Kamudimba didn't play last night because as soon as he signed for us he hot-tailed it back to France to, I assume, pack his shinnies and athletic support and take a last look wistful look at the south of France. He'll be with us on Wednesday (it said all this on the OS somewhere....well, not the bit about shinnies and athletic support). Au revoir."

And finally, a multiple close encounter from Chris Jenkin, who says: "On Monday afternoon, a few friends and myself had been swimming at Cleethorpes Leisure Centre. Afterwards as I was getting changed I overheard some guys talking about going to bars but didn't think much of it. They then walked past me and to my surprise it was Steve Mildenhall and Paul Bolland dressed in Grimsby Town training attire. I was pretty surprised to see them in such a place considering they were both meant to be injured and looked pretty fine (I guess this is proof that Mildenhall was faking an injury to get out of that bootcamp thing)." And they say footballers are thick, eh. "I then noticed there was another player there. Stood hiding in the corner was Glen Downey trying to be invisible. But yeah, I saw a few Grimsby Town players in a changing room and they looked fine even though they are injured. Afterwards I thought I could have verified the 'one ball Mildenhall' rumour but staring at men's genitalia isn't my thing." Damn shame. Anyone whose thing is staring at men's genitalia is urged to email the usual address.