Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 11 July 2005

11 July 2005

Transfer news first of all, and Russell Slade has been knocked back in an attempt to follow up the signings of Tom Newey, Gary Cohen and Terry Barwick with a player you've actually heard of. After flashing a bit of leg at several lower-league managers, Wigan midfielder Gareth Whalley last week found himself the happy recipient of a bouquet and box of Dairy Milk from a smitten Mr Slade, only to break Russ's heart by running off with smooth-talking Swindon boss Andy King. Still, as Mrs Diary said after I failed my driving test, there was no harm in trying, and Russ probably didn't even suffer two fractured ribs and a broken cheekbone.

The Mariners look ahead to their first two pre-season friendlies this week - at Bridlington Town on Wednesday and then at home to Scunthorpe on Thursday - following their return to a regular training schedule after a week spent in their army boot camp being woken up before they'd even got to sleep by a screaming sadist in camouflage gear and forced to shower in icy water before avoiding hand grenades tossed liberally by an insanely cackling Graham Rodger while attempting to build nuclear fall-out shelters from string. The Russ-ster has told the Grimsby Telegraph that the exercise has been good for bonding between his team, which may very well be the case, but in situations that call for good bonding the Diary tends to find that an enormous bottle of whisky is just as effective and much more fun.

Town legend Paul Groves, who sadly lacked as a manager what he made up for as a player, apparently did dead well over the weekend in that indoor summer tournament thing played by old people and televised on some non-terrestrial channel for a few thousand football fans at loose ends. In a similar vein, subscribers to Mariners World will be able to enjoy live commentary from Thursday's match, announces Town's official website today, pointing out that a subscription lasting until 10 August can be purchased for just £1.99, but, frankly, if you're getting excited about turning on a computer to listen to a pre-season friendly against Scunthorpe then you really need to get some mates.