Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 27 September 2005

27 September 2005

Very little of interest has surfaced on the internet in advance of tonight's game between Town and Notts County, save a preview on the 'Pies official site with a picture of Russell Slade managing them in 1994 and bearing only slightly more hair than in 2005. We can safely assume, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, that Simon Francis might play and Tommy Taylor won't. This being the case, let us spend this Tuesday lunchtime catching up with some of your emails.

Your first tale of drunkenness and cruelty comes from Andrew Smith, who has opted to spill the beans about his - and some of the players' - exploits after last week's thrilling win over Tottenham. "We ended up in Gullivers of all places with Messrs Croft, Gritton, Crane and North," whispers Andy. "Gritts claimed not to have shagged her off Sky, but he was clearly lying. Crofty was full of it - even he knows how awful Parky is. Oh, what a night. Had to be on the train at 7:30 the next morning - woke up at Manchester Airport, needed to be at Doncaster, but what the hell! Keep up the good work." Thanks mate. Gulliver's has clearly gone downhill since the days when the Diary was a regular: back then, there'd never have been a footballer within half a mile of the place.

"Having a recently replastered chimney breast gave me the ideal blank canvas to write the score from that epic victory over Spurs," writes Sibbo. "It reads one-nil to Town. Am I dreaming, or is it safe to wake up yet?" It's safe to wake up, Sibbo. Just don't go near Town's dressing room with the orange juice.

It's not often the Diary gets through three emails without at least one of them being from John Pakey - but today... oh. "Picking up the Guardian today," wrote John, yesterday, "I cast my eye over the sport section and it seems that Grimsby's own number one, Steve Mildenhall, has been interviewed on his music taste in the 'What's rocking sport' section. Now, not wishing to criticise the big man, who did so well the other week in his part in making a bunch of north London toffs resemble a pub team with a fat guy playing on the left side of midfield. However, his top five seems to be vacant on one little-known hit called 'Up the Mariners' by top trio Pisces. Either way, good to see 'the likes of Grimsby' getting into the national press." Indeed, though less good to see One Ball drag our name through the mud with his ill-informed notions of genre. They might play toss like David Gray at Gulliver's these days, Mr Mildenhall, but that no longer means it must be indie.

Today's final speck of Diary detritus sticks on the subject of music like John McDermott to Andy Reid. It is an email from James Thundercliffe, who seems to be labouring under the misapprehension that his status as brother of Cod Almighty's own star interviewer and teaboy extraordinaire Paul will persuade this website to abandon its strict policy of refusing adverts and grant him a nepotistic favour by mentioning the gig at the Grimsby College Drum Bar this Friday, 30 September, where James's band South Parade will be performing their own compositions, supported by The Sonic Purveyors and Turning Tides, with admission charged at £3 and drinks promotions running throughout the night. Ha! You must think we were born yesterday, sunshine!