Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 31 October 2005

31 October 2005

If you're struggling to adjust to Greenwich Mean Time today then spare a thought for former Town winger Graham 'The Hair' Hockless, who will shortly have to adjust to a time difference of not one but ten hours when his transfer is completed from North Ferriby United of the Northern Premier League to Richmond SC of, um, some semi-professional league or other in Australia. Hockless, you will remember, scored two excellent goals in the Mariners' 2003-04 relegation season but failed to command a regular first-team slot under a succession of managers despite the unwavering support of the entire teenage population of the Pontoon stand, and has found the net four times for North Ferriby since joining in the summer of this year. After announcing the news of his imminent departure to his teammates, the player has apparently had to endure them humming the theme tune from Neighbours on a regular basis, so Richmond will be able to rest easy in the knowledge that their new signing will not be dashing back home because he misses the English sense of humour.

At a time when the Grimsby Telegraph can run a story about the fact that Town haven't got another match until next Saturday, an interview with the club groundsman might seem to indicate that the current run of slow news days surrounding the Mariners has reached an altogether new level of sloth. But today's natter between Town's official website and Mick Phillips (or Mike Phillips, if you go by the headline) has appeared because the GTFC turfmeister is celebrating 25 years' service at Blundell Park, and it's quite an interesting read, as it turns out. The Diary would like to join the club in warmly congratulating Mr Phillips, who has clearly performed a splendid job down the decades, and in his honour I will also refrain from ending this paragraph with a joke about his talents having recently being wasted on account of the Mariners' current style of play not actually using the grass very much.

Lastly today, it's over to the Diary's inbox, where an email from Grimsby Jed - a first-time correspondent to this page - gently rests. I will reproduce it now in its entirety.

NEVER GET INVOLVED WITH THIS SORT OF THING BUT AFTER WATCHING THE NEWCASTLE GAME LAST WEDNESDAY ON SKY FROM WERE I LIVE IN SOMERSET; I AM MOVED TO SAY MY BIT. I DON'T HAVE PICTURES IN MY HEAD OF ELBOWS OR SPILT LIPS. WHAT I SEE IS GRIMSBY DEFENCE CLOSING DOWN THE NEWCASTLE ATTACKS & ON TWO MANY OCCAISIONS; BOOTING THE BALL UP FIELD TO NO-------- BODY.THAT RESULTED IN HAVING TO DEFEND ANOTHER NEWCASTLE ATTACK. OH! I KNOW THAT IS A GOOD THING TO DO IF TRYING TO LAND IT TO A PLAYER TO RUN ON WITH IT ( LIKE READY ) BUT IF NO ONE IS UP THERE !!!!! NEWCASTLE MAKE THIER WAY UP FIELD BY PASSING. IF THE WAY IS BLOCKED ;THEY PASS IT BACK & BIULD AGAIN.( YES I KNOW GRIMSBY DO THAT AS WELL) BUT THEY SEEM TO LOSE THE BALL BEFORE GETTING INTO THE danger

AREA'S. THEN IT'S A BIG SCRAMBLE TO GET BACK TO STOP THE ATTACK AGAIN. WE ARE KNOWN AS A "set piece team" LONG BALL S OVER THE TOP IN THE HOPE OF GETTING A FREE KICK OR CORNER. WELL WE DIDN'T GET A CORNER AGAINST NEWCASTLE IN THE 1st HALF & ONLY ABOUT TWO IN THE 2nd. IT'S TRUE WE ARE BETTER IN DEFENCE BY MILES FROM LAST SEASON ; & keep a few clean sheets. (like at Northhampton Sat; ) BUT WE DON'T SCORE DO WE? I THINK WE GO AWAY TO PLAY DEFENSIVE & HAVE HAD SUCCESS. AT HOME YOUR EXPECTED TO WIN BUT ITS NOT WORKING OUT SO WELL. LETS HAVE LESS BALLS OVER THE TOP & MAKE OUR PROGRESS UP THE FIELD WITH SOME GOOD PASSING. WHILE YOUR NOT BOTHERING THE OPPOSITION YOU CAN BE SURE THE'LL BE DOING IT TO US. SATURDAY WAS A GOOD EXAMPLE BUT WE MANAGED A POINT.I CAN ONLY ASSUME THEY ARE DANCING TO THE MANAGER'S TUNE ( which needs tweaking up a bit.) grimsby jed

So what you're saying, Jed, is that Town need to pass the ball instead of hoofing it? I agree with you. Now where's that paracetamol?