Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 5 December 2005

5 December 2005

Good day! Anyone fancy trying to make sense of the Mariners' finances? The Diary sure as heck doesn't, but let's have a go at digging out some salient points. A letter issued by John Fenty with the club's annual report to shareholders has explained that Town's bankers have lived up to their rhyming slang by halving their overdraft limit from half a million to 250,000 quid. (Who are the club's bankers, anyway?) Chairman John wants to help out by buying another £150,000 worth of shares. There's a rule that says he'd have to buy all the rest as well if he does that (which sounds a bit familiar from all that Glazer/Man You shenanigans in the summer) but he wants the other shareholders to let him off that part of the deal when they vote at the club's AGM on 29 December. There's no plan B if they don't - so in laymen's terms you, I and 4,000 other Grimbarians might have to find something else to do with our Saturday afternoons between August and May every year. Sorry - I mean Friday nights.

The report itself makes unsurprising reading: gate receipts have only fallen a bit, but TV money and sponsorship revenue have plunged (the new owners of Five Star Fish being considerably less avid Town fans than Mr Fenty); salaries have been cut by a further 35 per cent, from £2.32m to £1.53m; and the chairman's diligent stewardship has just about wiped out overall trading losses for the year. Perhaps the only unexpected item (many thanks to Guest Diary for emailing to point this out) is an amazing upsurge in income raised by matchday catering, from £133,000 to £302,000, suggesting either that McMenemy's has proved a runaway success or that the club has withdrawn Tony Crane's entitlement to free pies.

In other news today Rob Jones, the man who makes Georges Santos look like Ronnie Corbett, could return to Town's line-up for tomorrow night's home game against their promotion rivals Rochdale. OK, so that was news last week, but it's still quiet enough to justify repetition. The Mariners' official website adds that Gary Croft should play despite a back problem and that Andy Parkinson, the man who makes Ronnie Corbett look like Georges Santos, has finally got over his splin shints thing after setting a new UK all-comers' record for the longest time taken to run off an injury.

Finally, GTFC have banked on a local population explosion by allowing as many as four children in for free with each paying adult attending this Saturday's game against Bristol Rovers. As Wayward Cousin Diary has proved several times, the Grimsby and Cleethorpes area may be severely lacking in information about birth control, but this is ridiculous.