Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 3 April 2006

3 April 2006

Wrexham manager Denis Smith is hopping mad about his side's limp surrender at Blundell Park on Saturday. Look! His head is about to explode! That's how angry he is! I say he's hopping mad about his side's limp surrender, but in truth Smith is electing to emphasise the role of the match officials in Town's 2-0 win rather than his own side's abject inability to create anything resembling a genuine goalscoring opportunity from their abundant second-half possession and their predictable if late capitulation to Mr Russell Slade's crafty counterattacking ruse. "Grimsby's first goal was offside and we should have had a penalty when Jon Walters was brought down, so instead of chasing the game we'd have been 1-0 up," whimpers Smith, flapping his arms about and stamping his feet. "In the lower leagues we get the worst officials, and at Wrexham we get the weakest of all because we're a nice team who don't go kicking people." On the other hand, though, Den, your fans can run onto the pitch and punch the other team's goalkeeper without fear of either prosecution or even a ban from the ground, so it all balances out, eh.

Ticket news, woo woo, ticket news. All supporters wishing to attend the forthcoming defeats crucial promotion deciders at Leyton Orient and Carlisle Five are directed to the Mariners' official website, where we learn that the London club has issued 1,400-odd tickets for the Easter Monday game. These are available now at just 16 United Kingdom pounds to season ticket holders and people with "3 counterfoils from any home games", while the remainder of the population will have to wait until 10 April - unless, of course, GTFC are perpetrating another hilarious April Fool prank! This Saturday's visit to Cumbria, meanwhile, is strictly pay-on-the-gate, and only 12 quid, which is nice. "Away fans are accommodated the Petterill stand," explains the OS, the missing preposition hopefully being 'in' rather than 'on top of', 'behind', or 'in an unlit dungeon underneath'.

What is it with Worksop Town and GTFC defenders? Unable to resist the lure of, um, livewire striker Tony Crane, the Notts non-Leaguers followed up by signing Dean 'Fuck This, I'm Off To Cyprus' Gordon at the beginning of last month and have now returned to Blundell Park for thirds, taking reserve centre-half Miles Chamberlain on loan late last week. Chamberlain, who can apparently pass the ball a bit, was also lent out to Eastwood Town earlier in the season and joined the Conference North side on Friday, just ahead of the 89th transfer deadline of the 2005-06 season but not quite in time to make his debut in their crunch relegation clash against Redditch United on Saturday. I had a takeaway pizza in Redditch once. It was rubbish.

Finally today, be sure to note that the sports memorabilia auction and casino night scheduled to take place at McMenemy's on 4 April has been cancelled. Got that? Eh? What do you mean you didn't know about it in the first place? No, me neither.