Cod Almighty | Article

by Codswallop

12 September 2006

Hello readers, and welcome back!! In these troubled modern-day current times what the mighty Mariners need is some strong support and strong support is what you get from Codswallop. So first of all let's stop all this nonsense about sacking the new manager already. It's political correctness gone mad. We need to give Graham Rodgers a fair crack of the chance! He has only been in charge for seven games. A lot of the youngsters these days have no patience. To them I say: have patience. Give Rodgers the time he needs. And then, if Town are not in the Premiership by Christmas, we should obviously sack him and throw his family into jail. It's the only language these people understand.

So, I hear you ask, where have you been all this time, Codswallop? Well, after the mighty Mariners slumped to relegation in 2005 I said there was no way I was going back while Russell Slades was in charge. That is my right. It is a free country. Despite the best efforts of the French to make us go into Europe, that is! The thing with the French is that they really hate the English. Although after the World Cup I expect they really hate the Italians too!! And you know what the thing is with the Italians, don't you? They really hate the English as well.

I haven't been to see Graham Rodgers's team yet but they're obviously terrible, so I'm not going back while he's in charge either. He's got no contacts! A lot of the youngsters these days have no respect for age. Rodgers is much too young to be a successful manager of a professional football club. The political correctness brigade might not like it but it is true. The only thing that lot like is munching on each other's lentil burgers! Ha, ha!!

It's the same with that trendy headmistress at my granddaughter's school. "I prefer to be called a head teacher," she says. How are the youngsters going to respect that? They're all obsessed with s*x these days. It's political correctness gone mad. They need some old-fashioned plain-speaking terms like 'mistress' to put them right. And a good, hard spanking! Corporal punishment never did me any harm. You can ask my daughter. While you're at it, could you tell her 18 years is a long time and we should let bygones be bygones?

So the mighty Mariners need a man in charge who has been around the block once or twice. Take that Lennie Lawrence. He knew what he was doing. He had loads of contacts! And you can see on the pitch where Rodgers is getting us. It's a disgrace. Everyone knows you can only be successful at any job if you are old enough to have retired. That is plain common sense. But a lot of the youngsters these days have no respect for age. And Rodgers has got no contacts. So in the transfer market we are picking up scraps like one of these illegal so-called homeless asylum jobseekers!! Peter Beagrie wrote something unpleasant about us on the wireless when he played for Boston 40 years ago. That John McIntosh is old enough to be my grandfather. And as for this Andy McDermott character Rodgers has brought in, he will be pushing a Zimmer frame round the pitch by the end of the season. Get rid of the old fogies and bring in some youth, Mr Rodgers!!