Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 28 July 2006

28 July 2006

Happy Hanukkah! What? Oh. In that case, here is today's Bottom-of-the-Barrel Diary coming fresh from the Lincolnshire village of Tetney. Yes, they are my sheep in the road. Do you have a problem with that?

Town news! None. However, those of you who follow the careers of ex-Mariners will be interested to hear about Mick Boulding, and his brother. But wait a mo... isn't following the careers of ex-Mariners a bit tragic? I used to watch Lovejoy but I haven't followed the subsequent career of Eric with any great interest. Ah, yes, but the Boulding news is relevant, see, because he's signed for Mansfield, see, who are in our division, see, and what's more, we used to call him "Quick Mick", see, and yet each and every one of our defenders answers to the name of "Slow Joe". There is potentially a dangerous situation here. Have you spotted it? No? Even despite my over-use of the word 'see'? Oh, get along with you. You're pulling my leg. Which will doubtless be Justin Whittle's best tactic as well.

His brother has also signed for Mansfield. Rory. He is 17. Stags' boss Peter "vulgar and cheap homosexual name-pun" Shirtlifter describes him as "one for the future". Oh yes. One of those. We've had a few of those as well haven't we? No need to worry there.

So that's that - a short Diary full of nonsense. I have to go and rescue a butterfly from the house now, which always seems deeply symbolic in a kind of late sixties Mick Jagger-ish way. Man.