Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 12 July 2006

12 July 2006

Doing things in the wrong order must run in the family. Just as Wayward Cousin Diary's spectacular career as a multiple teenage mother unfortunately preceded her education about birth control methods, so the Diary's publication yesterday occurred just before the news broke that Town had signed Gary Harkins. A 21-year-old midfielder, Harkins joins on a two-year deal from first division Blackburn Rovers, don't you know, where he never quite made the first team and was loaned out to three other north-western clubs - the most recent being Blackpool in late 2005, where he scored twice in five appearances. The Mariners' official website has dipped into its big list of words to describe new players and come up with 'combative' again, suggesting red cards aplenty may be ahead - so if he can just practise shots that hit the scoreboard on the Osmond stand, there'll be no need to bring Alan Pouton back.

From a new and untried GTFC midfielder we turn to one who played hundreds of times for the club, consistently excelling, scoring many vital goals and captaining the team throughout much of its most successful period of recent decades - and yet was violently hated by sections of the Blundell Park 'support' even before he played for Scunthorpe. Granted, Paul Groves' term as Town manager was less impressive than his playing career - but this has proved no obstacle to his appointment to the coaching staff at first division nouveau squillionaires Portsmouth (third photo from the top). Groves' admirers were unsurprised by the recent promotion to the Conference National of Stafford Rangers, where he had been employed as a player-assistant manager, but even they will admit to some shock that PG's fortunes have since turned upwards with all the sharpness of an Italian insult about your mum.

So what happened last night? Town won 1-0 at Lincoln United, that's what, their last-minute winning goal recorded by Nick Hegarty and perhaps inspired by a fear of being kept out of the first team by a man born before England won the World Cup. The club's official website notes merely that "several trialists" took part - indeed, even the Ashby Avenue tannoy announcer gave up trying to keep track midway through the second half - but the Grimsby Telegraph battles gamely to record their names. Two of these are unfamiliar: Tommy Stuart, who may or may not be Tommy Stewart, a former Kidderminster Harriers utility player now registered with Bewdley Town; and Louis Buckthorpe, who is probably Lewis Buckthorpe, a midfielder with Grimsby Borough. You'd hope not, really, if only because Boro used to be sponsored by the Telegraph and it'd be a terrible shame if they spelt his name wrong.