Graham crackers!

Cod Almighty | Article

by Pete Green

6 June 2006

Uncharacteristically open-minded fans seem quite jolly about Rodger

IN AN unprecented show of open-mindedness, thousands of Mariners fans have decided to give their team's new manager Graham Rodger the benefit of the doubt - and some are even getting his name right.

Rodger was appointed Grimsby boss on Monday despite having been criticised for years by supporters who don't really know anything at all about his coaching style or ability to bring in new players but just like having something to moan about - but the expected tidal wave of criticism has mysteriously FAILED TO APPEAR.

And as Town fans not appalled and disgusted by the announcement conducted an astonishing MEASURED DEBATE, several took the extraordinary step of calling their side's new manager by his actual name instead of "Rodgers".

"Yeah, well, he might do all right," said season ticket holder Janet Carnegie of Wintringham Road, WITHOUT FOAMING at the mouth. "It was always unrealistic to expect a manager of, say, Ian Holloway's calibre to drop two divisions and Rodger's appointment at least guarantees a degree of continuity at a club ravaged by instability over recent seasons."

"None of us really know how any new manager will fare," added Gordon Aguilera of Campden Crescent. "Even for the chairman making the appointment there is always a degree of uncertainty. Rodger might be a success and he might not.

"If he isn't and Town do really badly, we can still enjoy a fulfilling life," Gordon continued PHILOSOPHICALLY. "Read a book. Travel. Spend time with your friends. If you're going to get het up about something, the Bush administration's head-in-the-sand attitude to climate change is much more worthwhile."

Grimsby's bizarre new sense of perspective has even spread to internet discussion forums, where the ability to debate in measured and reasonable tones tends to be far less important than punctuating badly and typing in CAPITAL LETTERS.

Pontoon regular Dave Solzhenitsyn explained: "Somebody on the messageboard started on about Rodger's got no contacts in the game. Y'know, the way that people on Town messageboards always seem to boast an encyclopaedic knowledge of Graham Rodger's address book. Why is that, by the way?

"But instead of forming an angry mob and burning down John Fenty's house, the rest of the contributors patiently pointed out that none of us have actually got a clue about how many contacts Rodger has. Some added that Lennie Lawrence and Nicky Law had a lot of contacts and they were useless.

"Then, instead of calling us fucking tossers and putting twelve exclamation marks on the end, the person who made the original point said he could see where we were coming from and agreed that we should give Rodger a chance. It was really weird."

One or two Grimbarians remained doubtful about the man chosen to succeed Russell Slade, however. "Rodgerses has got no contacts!" said one supporter, who described himself only as "Season ticket holder for 120 years, Scartho". He added: "No contacts! Don't give me all that about beating Barnsley 6-1! He's got no contacts! Booooo no contacts booooo! And have you ever seen him wearing glasses? No! If he's got no glasses and no contacts, how can he see what's happening on the pitch?!?!?!"