Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Wednesday 20 September 2006

20 September 2006

The manhunt is over: Gary Harkins is alive, but hasn't been very well. One of Grahams Rodgerses's first signings for GTFC, Harkins was brought to the club in early July as part of a bid for the world record number of footballers called Gary registered to one club at any given time. He made five appearances but has failed to appear on the teamsheet for the four games since Town's defeat at Bury on 26 August - and, rather sadly for Gary, his absence went unremarked upon until brought to the attention of the global football community by the Diary earlier this week. Obligingly as ever, the Mariners' official website has now explained that yer man "has been ill and has not been training" but will return to the fray tonight, if there is much of a fray to return to in a reserve team game against King$ton Communication$ FC. The OS has yet to go into detail on other unexplained issues such as the premature termination of the Jarvis sponsorship, the reasons behind the military coup in Thailand and the possibility of life on other planets, so be sure to check back later in the week for more on these.

It may have been trendy once, but Town have clearly decided that having a player called Jermaine in your squad is so last season, and are now following the craze for all things celtic. Last week's trial defender Connor/Conor Rafferty having moved along to this season's early pacesetters in the fourth division, Wycombe, the club has moved quickly to bring in another with the same fashionably Irish forename. Connor/Conor Franklin is a left-sided full-back and "will spend a few days at Blundell Park", says the OS, possibly even lining up alongside the less modishly monikered Mr Harkins in tonight's aforementioned reserve game. Well, it'll probably be more "just behind and to the side of" than "alongside", but you catch my drift. Tom 'Three More Years' Newey is not reported to be losing sleep.

Those magnificent Mariners with their marketing schemes, they go "please bring a kid and it's only a quid". For this Saturday's home game against Stockport, though, they've introduced a novel twist whereby it's not a kid but some kids, and the club's official website is excited enough to be using initial capital letters on words that are even more randomly chosen than usual. "Any number of children can gain entry to Blundell Park for just £1 for the game as long as they are accompanied by at least One full paying responsible Adult," explains the OS, raising the possibility of a terrifying Pied Piper-type scenario making a hefty dent in Town's weekend gate receipts.

We remain with Town's official website as today's Diary ends with an email from Richard Bedwell, who has found the explanation for an inaccuracy exposed on this page yesterday. "Teamtalk probably thinks Master Taylor is a defender because he is listed as such on the OS," writes Bedders, "though it does call him a striker as well. He could be the next Livvo, but I'm pretty sure he isn't 6 foot 2 and 13 stone." Fingers crossed though, and he won't be the next Jermaine Palmer either.