Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Monday 11 September 2006
11 September 2006
Arguably Town's player of the season so far, Isaiah Rankin has proved that his powers of perception match his footballing prowess by recognising where the club's real problem lies: with its fans. Groups of spectators at Blundell Park have recently decided that the best way to support the team through its troubled start to the 2006-07 campaign has been to abuse Gary Jones - whose 17 goals last season were crucial in taking the Mariners to the final of the promotion play-offs - and Rankin has found a suitably subtle way to have a dig back. Speaking to the Grimsby Telegraph after Saturday's ace victory over Walsall, the player enthused: "The win will give the place a lot of confidence," before slyly adding: "even the supporters". Don't miss tomorrow's edition, when Justin Whittle offers out the whole of row D of the Pontoon.
As you are doubtless aware, the Mariners are not currently blessed with a surfeit of centre-halves. Without the arrival of reinforcements, it would take only the return of Martin McIntosh to Huddersfield at the end of his loan and the slightest of twinges to Old Man Whittle for newborn defender Miles Chamberlain to be thrust helplessly into the world, mewling and puking in the nurse's arms. Accordingly, Town's official website has today addressed the question of McIntosh's departure. The site posted an item this morning explaining that reports of the player's immediate recall by the Terriers have been greatly exaggerated (did you see any reports of this? I know I didn't), and extended Mart's term at Blundell Park from a month to almost the whole season by revealing that "his loan deal with the Mariners is until at least 17th April". Then they changed it so it said "17th September" instead. So, no need to panic there.
"Derby want to sign Carl Asaba, who is a free agent after leaving Millwall and is currently training with Leeds." Depending on how much faith you are prepared to place in the News of the World, which reported thusly yesterday (and thanks are due to Guest Diary for emailing to tell me), Grahams McRodgerses will have to turn elsewhere in his search for a striker or strikers to cover for the injured-for-ages duo Gary Cohen and Luton's Michael Reddy. By the by, the Diary thought Radio Humberside's David 'What Would You Say To Us?' Burns made a good point on Saturday in asking whether it is in the manager's best interests for the club to be announcing details of all the players he has recently failed to acquire. Of course, he might have just been trying to wind up John Fenty some more - an activity in which his track record is second to none, despite the best efforts of the Diary - but if I were Rodge, I'd start worrying how the club was planning to embarrass me further and begging my mum not to tell the OS about the time I rode my tricycle naked round People's Park.
Time to look at your emails to the Diary now - and whether or not Dave Burns is winding up John Fenty, John Fenty has certainly wound up Dean Brown, whose desire to escape the nefarious influence of the Mariners supremo has driven him to the darkest and filthiest corner of the planet. Dean seems to have been in the employ of Positive John earlier in his life, and when Fenty became chairman he tore up his season ticket and fled. "Maybe I'm a coward for winding down my interest in Gy when he took over but I've known Fenty prior to this and he got upset when we used decent (fireproof) wood for an fire exit door because it cost more! So when he took over (here comes the rubbish pun!) I took the cheap option too and got out. Anyway etc etc etc I'm now happy working and living in Leeds, I'm sure Fenty will be spying on me with his super technology and is tracking me down!" Damning evidence against the chairman, then, whose enemies are not only driven to paranoia but reach so pitiful a state of emotional torment that they believe it possible to take pleasure from existence in the city of Leeds.