Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 17 October 2006

17 October 2006

Hello to you all - West Yorkshire Diary here, fresh from a morning of sleep and TV. Sorry, could you not cover your face while I'm talking to you? Thanks. My library debts have risen to £2.60. I suppose that's what you get when you take out eight books and never refer to them at home. It's easy to forget the existence of books - and Football League trophy competitions - so we're being reminded that tonight's largely-forgotten match at Lincoln City will kick off at 7.15 and won't even bother with extra time if it's a draw as the average attention span of the crowd tonight won't stretch much over 90 minutes.

Yeah, there's weird things going on with the rules! The Football League is wagging its finger in a "don't disobey me" sort of way to ensure that each club plays at least half of their regular players in the competition. But if you're a club like Grimsby, who haven't got enough fit players to even contemplate playing the stiffs (and I'd be tempted - they're actually achieving better results than the first team based on the last two games), then you don't really have much choice.

What's the best thing you've spent a pound on? Once upon a time I bought six Solero Shots (the green type) for a quid, but the corner shop has stopped doing them now. By far and away the worst pound spent was just the other day when I purchased some limited edition Hallowe'en orange and lime cake rolls, which were rank. This emulsion mixture trophy thing is being made a family event (as apposed to league games, which normally aim to attract thugs) so I could get into the Galpharm in Huddersfield tonight for a just one pound sterling if I wanted, because I'm a student there. Lincoln hasn't quite got the same cheap idea, although children under the age of 16 can attend for free - but only if there was a responsible adult nearby at the ticket office who grabbed a handful with their purchase on behalf of the cider gang outside. If you've not yet purchased your ticket but want to attend the game tonight then you'll be charged an extra £2 for being slow.

I suppose what all journalistic writers of the Telewag's ilk are hoping for is a match that ends up being complete bore, in which case they can make reference to 'watching a particular brand's paint dry' in their title the next morning.

Peter Brezovan, the Swindon keeper who broke his arm in his side's worryingly easy victory over the Mariners on Saturday, has been sidelined for the rest of the season. "It was a brave save," said manager Dennis Wise. Yes - although he showed greater bravery immediately afterwards when Ricky Ravenhill entered the scene. The Notts County midfield can breathe a sigh of relief as 'Raves' picked up his fifth booking in only his seventh [eighth! EIGHTH! this OS Richard/Ricky debacle has gone too far! - Ed] game for the club and will miss the return of Andy Parkinson to Blundell Park this Saturday.

Football and shopping have never mixed - just ask any couple on the last Saturday before Christmas - but the Asda Family Lounge are attempting to combine the two on November 18 when the Mariners travel to Wycombe. There's a blatant and ill-placed presupposition towards the end of the second paragraph, but I'll let you find that for yourself.

Tommy Widdrington, who has been seen standing and pointing a lot at Salisbury City in recent times, has been interviewed for the vacant manager's job at Macclesfield Town. Salisbury boss Nick Holmes claims that Tommy W is 'one of those who leaves an impression wherever he goes'. So much to say, but so little time.

Right, that's me finished. I had more to say but I have a freezer that's out of control, and the growing amount of ice - which has already engulfed a box of waffles on the top shelf - needs to be addressed with a certain amount of immediacy. Ciao!