Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 3 October 2006

3 October 2006

He came; he played a few minutes against Stockport; he didn't look much cop. He was sidelined by the subsequent signing of Tony Thorpe. And then he went back to Southend. He is, of course, James Lawson, whose loan at Blundell Park began on 22 September and has now ended, just 11 days later, before Cod Almighty even managed to publish a profile on him. At the time of writing Town are yet to announce the news, but an item from a local newspaper in Essex confirms it. "We wanted him to get games and that wasn't happening he has come back to us now," says Southend manager Steve Tilson, all in one breath. Lawson's name is now set to go down in GTFC history alongside those of Jermaine Palmer, Chris Williams, Morten Hyldgaard, Robbie Busscher and Willie Falconer among the most pointless signings the club has ever made.

Why are you a Grimsby Town fan? Is it because they are by far the greatest team the world has ever seen? Is it because you heard a match commentary on Radio Humberside and remembered that your local team needed your support? Is it because you enjoy the steady ritual of Saturday afternoon kick-offs? Or is it just because of the club's superbly professional communications strategy and official website? If you answered yes or no to any of the above then your matchday experience is likely to be affected profoundly by the proposal to play music over the Blundell Park tannoy when the team scores a goal. One good reason that the Cod Almighty team are Grimsby Town fans is that we don't like the Premiership and the media telling us who we should support, so we're buggered if our own club is gonna tell us how we should support. When they proposed the same thing in November 2002, then, we told them to get stuffed; here's the input form should you wish to have your twopenn'orth this time round.

Two of your recent emails to the Diary concern pie, and somebody who seems to be called Clav Divs (I, Clavdivs?) is concerned for our nutritional well-being: "Actually, in response to the pastry question posed by Thursday's Diary, I feel that responsible, distinguished journalists like your good self should advocate the healthy options currently in vogue unless you want Jamie Oliver to expose you. I would recommend one of those lovely baked tates between the Pontoon and Main Stand." Are they any good, then? If there is one thing worse than being exposed by Jamie Oliver, it is being exposed to Joey Barton.

Last up today, CA's own Mark Stilton is an excited fellow. "I have just this evening received an early Xmas present," he writes. "My partner had bought it the other week, but just couldn't keep it a secret any longer. There are two reasons for this: one, the book is Pies by Angela Boggiano and contains an exciting collection of pie recipes. But the second and more important reason is that on perusing the book today my partner stumbled across an article on pies at football matches which is accompanied by photographs from Blundell Park. The author mentions a trip to BP to sample our 'famous pies'. Not sure which famous pies they are, but she seems pleased with them. Or rather, she said they helped her make it through the second half." That'll be the beef and onion, which made it on to last year's Celebrity Big Brother.

Mark continues: "Anyway, the first picture shows Tom Newey taking a throw-in with Jones and Mildenhall in the background. Perhaps Mildenhall is the prime steak, Newey the offal and Jones the pastry holding the entire defensive pie together. Or something. Anyway, what follows are more pictures - mainly of people eating pies at BP. Interestingly - and one for Tony Butcher, this - the following page in this book entitled Pies contains a recipe for Cornish pasties. Eat my pie, Butcher!" This, readers, is a long-running Cod Almighty in-joke (and not a particularly funny one, even when you're 'in'), whereby Stilton maintains that pasties are essentially a kind of pie while Butcher insists that the two are entirely separate classes of pastry-based comestible. But perhaps the dispute can now be settled for all time by the power of the Diary. Email diary@codalmighty.com to tell us who is right and who is buying the first round in the Rutland on Sunday.