Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Thursday 30 November 2006

30 November 2006

Town don't have a match for another five days; none of their players are currently sidelined with a broken foot; every imaginable kind of transfer window is nailed shut and blacked out; and Curtis Woodhouse has neither beaten anyone up nor embarked upon a new career in professional Scrabble. A good thing, then, that Town's youth team are in action this evening in their defence of the Midland(s) Floodlit Cup, and that their manager is as ubiquitous as Russell Brand in today's media, albeit with different hair. Neil Woods has given interviews to both Mariners World and the local paper in the run-up to this evening's fixture, speculating in the Grimsby Telegraph about the potential psychological effects of his team's recent FA Youth Cup defeat by Huddersfield and the release last week of youth side graduates Ben Higgins, Paul Ashton and Miles Chamberlain. "They can't afford to dwell on it because the under-16s players are now on their heels challenging for a place in the side. They have to show what they are made of and the best place to do that is out on the pitch," says Woods, waving two clenched fists at the nearest teenager. "Admission will be into the [Frozen Beer] stand only. £3 Adults/ £2 Concessions. Turnstiles will open at 6.30pm and the usual kiosk etc," adds Town's official website, getting completely carried away with the feverish excitement surrounding the match.

"Don't want to fork out for Mariners World for highlights?" asks Scott B in an email to the Diary. "No, Scott, I don't, mostly because the shoddy standards of the free official website suggest to me that Mariners World would offer very poor value for money," replies the Diary. "Then watch this from Accrington Stanley's OS - not a premiumtv in sight!" advises Scott B, adding a link to some video of Town's two goals in their splendid win over Stanley last Saturday. "Thanks very much, Scott!" enthuses the Diary. While we're doing online footage, I would also recommend the set of 'great moments in football and cricket' links published on the Guardian's website yesterday - and if anyone has any others, Town-related or otherwise, send 'em in.

It's the end of Thursday's news, and that makes it time to hand over to Guest Diary. For tomorrow's Diary, though, GD will be otherwise occupied (and I dunno who's gonna write it yet, cos no bugger else seems to want to) - but he's sent us an email in the meantime. "A study by Dr David James (not the Portsmouth keeper) has revealed that the average energy output of a professional player over a season could power a house for 10 days. With this in mind, and given the excellent debut from young Mr Paterson, then perhaps Messrs Fenty and Buckley should consider putting Luton's Michael Reddy on a pushbike in the club shop attached to a generator. He could thus provide electricity for the lights and the ever-ringing tills. This will get him fit, and keep him occupied, rather than lounging around all day under that Mariners bedspread." Guest is referring, lest you be unaware, to a recent promotional mailout from the club shop featuring a quite funny photograph of the Hatters striker snuggled up under a GTFC duvet. Rumour has it that Reddy was originally pencilled in to model the playing kit but was shifted to bedding duty following an intervention from the misleading adverts department of the local trading standards office.