Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Tuesday 21 November 2006

21 November 2006

Cheer up, North East Lincolnshire! Oh, what can it mean - to a daydream believer and a purple-faced bloke at the back of the Pontoon? Tonight is the night, people, and Town are expecting a larger-than-might-usually-be-expected gate of three or four thousand for the FA Cup first round replay against Northampton to greet homecoming queen Alan Buckley. The Mariners' not-so-new manager is not the only local legend making a return this evening, as Tom Newey's suspension means Sir John McDermott will be restored to the starting line-up. Buckley confirms as much in today's Grimsby Telegraph and suggests that his first XI will be otherwise unchanged from Saturday's excellent draw at Wycombe, with Ciaran Toner still rubbing his groin and inspirational captain Justin Whittle having shrugged off his recent head injury, like Terry Butcher without the sectarian bigotry.

Let us turn back a few days to a development not so far addressed on this page: GTFC's statement late last week about the position of the Fentydome, published in response to "suggestions that there are more suitable locations for a new stadium than the site at Great Coates". Without first explaining where these suggestions have been made - and thus denying vital contextual information to anyone who missed them (yes, that means the Diary) - the piece reprises what seems to be an old report "by Gerald Eve Chartered Surveyors" on the unsuitability of sites at the docks and Macaulay Lane. The bottom line is the bottom line: Great Coates will stink but it's all we can afford. To the unpleasant odour of Pyewipe is added a nasty taste left in the mouth by the statement's note of exasperation at some fans' insistence on asking questions and thinking for themselves: "The club finds it extremely frustrating that the possibility of alternative locations continues to be raised." Well, how awful for the club. Appreciative though the Diary remains of John Fenty's presence, the chairman seems to grow ever more irritated by the bewildering notion that not everyone in the world might see everything exactly the way he does. We have seen it in those embarrassing scuffles with the BBC and the Telegraph; now we see it in his undignified public spat with a 14-year-old fanzine editor and the insulting dismissal of some fans' wishes for a debate on the site of the new ground as "ludicrous". The Diary saith unto thee, John: loosen up a bit, eh? What about the orange juice, dude?

Town's marketing team have done away with their habitual strategies to draw younger supporters into Blundell Park, and turning their attentions instead to towards attracting an audience of marine cephalopods which can expel ink when threatened by predators. The club's new 'Squid for a Quid' offer extends to both major suborders of the Teuthida order, Myopsina and Oegopsina, who will be admitted to this Saturday's home game against Accrington for just one pound provided that they are accompanied by at least one responsible full-paying octopus. Well, we can dream. The child-for-a-pound scheme is back, and no bad thing, of course. This time the twist is that the vouchers are printed in the Grimsby Telegraph, and if you can find the thing among 20 or 30 pages of reactionary hysteria about crime then you deserve all the discount you can get.