Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Friday 8 December 2006

8 December 2006

Town fans are gambling less, but eating more pies. This is the news that an unusually less than positive John Fenty forgot to announce in his dull-as-Gordon-Brown financial address to the Town nation yesterday. Despite an attractive-looking increase in the numbers (from a small loss the previous year) to a £408,000 trading profit, Mr Fenty goes on at great length to explain that things are really dire because the town's fair-weather fans just don't come often enough. The club's balance sheet has been considerably strengthened following a revaluation of Blundell Park which added a million quid to the debits-by-the-window column. If that was not enough, Mr Fenty has capitalised the near half million quid spent on the Fentydome to date to make the financial picture a tad rosier (on paper anyway). All well and good but the P&L next year will take a hell of a hammering if the project fails (as well it might, comments your ever-hyphenating Guest Diarist).

Mr Fenty begs us to ignore the "fat" profit figure and concentrate on the fact that the net cashflow for the period was negative to the tune of £133,000, requiring the club to increase its overall debt. But maybe, just maybe, this was because the club spent £326,000 on the Fentydome in the year. So for every quid we spent on pies Mr Fenty shelled out 70p on a high-risk strategy. To counter this it should be noted that Positive John converted part of his loan into new shares. This is to be applauded, of course. Lest ye forget, though, a big chunk of the remainder of the club's debt to him is underwritten by a charge on the assets of the club. By the way, the letter that accompanied the annual accounts yesterday forces shareholders to opt in to receive accounts through the post in future as a cost-saving exercise. Would it not be a hell of a sight cheaper just to publish the accounts on the official website so every bugger can read 'em?

Anyroad, enough of all that nonsense, for Town have a home match tomorrow to look forward to. And the Telewag has interviewed Mr Buckley, who apparently hinted that he may play the same side that beat both Barnet and their wind machine on Tuesday night. This despite 'Fenners' giving his keeper a big black eye in the process. Oh, how Mr Watkiss laughed on Mariners World. In the same interview the nasally challenged number two to Lord Buckley made coy references throughout to how good a side Shrewsbury are - at the back, in the middle, and up front, where Leo Fortune-West provides me with a chance to slip in at least the eleventh hyphen of the morning. Shrewsbury have also developed, according to our Stuart, the best corner routine ever. Can't wait to see their centre-halves trundling upfield for the first set piece of the day, can we?

So we still owe the taxman about £650,000, gentle reader, but that is £100,000 less than a year ago and the even better news is that we have half a million quid's worth of assets in the course of construction. It's a bit like the king and his new clothes, isn't it? "Oooh, feel how comfy these new seats are; there's loads to choose from too, and that smell - well, it will probably grow on you, won't it? We didn't want a pint before the game anyway, and at least we can sit in the car park after the game for an hour and listen to that dentist on Humberside being baffled by the broadcasting oddity that is David Burns." See yer.