Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Friday 12 January 2007
12 January 2007
Winston Churchill - who, incidentally, was not the first black president of the USA, despite what those whom consider themselves celebrities might think - had black dog days. Days when the mental weather is dark, raw and foggy; when the boiled eggs are sickenly runny and the toast tastes like cardboard; when the jukebox in your brain endlessly and unaccountably plays a horrible Emerson, Lake and Palmer riff that you swear you haven't heard or thought about for well over 30 years; when your football team have lost, lost, lost, then lost again and haven't a flippin' prayer in their next match.
Churchill's solution was to to talk to his favourite pig, and who, gentle reader, can blame him? Your Guest Diarist, who was once desperately close to becoming a pigman but was thwarted in unusual circumstances, has no such porcine solace readily available, so has resorted to the Level Devils. So at least the dog is now a yellow dog. And that is what Lord Buckley has to do: change the nature of his problems one step at a time and hope that each succeeding issue is a bit less serious than the last. Even Buckley gets the blues, and he must feel like there are no strings on his guitar at the moment. But listen to what three strings can do: make a mighty, driving tuneful racket. So we must all keep the faith and rely on our old bluesman to create a chugging rhythm.
To further lighten the mood the official website has published an article this morning enigmatically entitled Injured Pulis returns to Stoke. It explains that young Mr Pulis has a knee which was "too swollen to be scanned" and that he will be out for several weeks. Moving on from one midfielder to another, the author tries to put a wan smile on our faces by saying: "Paul Bolland, who was due to play last Tuesday, pulled his thigh ahead of that game and failed a late fitness test. The Mariners are confident that he will be fit to make the journey to Walsall on Monday."
But we are then brought back to Earth by a reminder that Sir John of McDermott was not allowed to train on Thursday. In case he "aggravate his calfs" (sic). And that neither Reddy (sore ankle) nor Rankin (thigh strain) have trained all week. Fenton remains suspended for Monday's televised game. Lord Buckley expanded the doubtful list when talking to the Grimsby Telegraph: "Justin, Crofty, Bolly, Macca, Isaiah and Michael (Reddy) all sat out training yesterday. It's too early to say who will be available out of those players for Monday - we'll see how it goes over the weekend."
Mr Diary predicted yesterday that I would write and tell you how Town were interested in Boston's Jamie Clark, but are no longer. Lord Buckley has duly told the Telegraph that young Mr Clark is very much last week's news as far as he is concerned; "A week ago we thought about a possible loan but we have moved on now." So there you go, gentle reader, there you go. See yer.