Cod Almighty | Diary

Diary - Monday 19 March 2007

19 March 2007

Other than the brilliant Paul Bolland and the wonderful Justin Whittle making the fourth division team of the weak thing, there has been very little in the way of news since Town turned in their best all-round performance of the season in overcoming Swindon on Saturday. It's a good job, then, not only that the Diary can titter at the Grimsby Telegraph's assertion that under a 4-5-1 system "the lack of support for the hard-working Danny North is noticeable by its absence" but also that you readers have been quick to email the Diary with your impressions. Of the match, I mean; you haven't been going on a 12-hour bender, falling into Cleethorpes Boating Lake, and saying: "Look - I'm Andy Flintoff!"

The first of you to have dispatched your thoughts along the worldwide intermailwebnet is Guest Diary, who ended his work here on Friday by reflecting that despite Town's excellent recent results there was still "a certain, er, fragility about it all". GD has been moved to repent his faithlessness by the rock-solid performance of the team captain against Swindon. "Justin Whittle," he writes, "there are many words to describe thee, but none of them is 'fragile'. A commendable performance, and Fenton too got better as the match wore on. I missed the goal for the same reason as Lord Buckley - our eyes were locked on the flagging linesman. And a final word for the Deadman - an excellent match you had, sir." The unexpected competence of the referee is also raised by John Ide, who writes: "I was very peeved on Saturday as the Deadman didn't live up to my lowly expectations. He even played an advantage for us to score. That is not the delightful deadhead we know and love. Please can we have the normally awful refs that we in the basement deserve?" Don't worry, John - bad refs are like waiting for a bus. Nigel Miller and Carl Boyeson are sure to be just around the next corner.

"Being a staunch trade unionist I am not renowned as a dobber," writes Dave the Engineer, as a prelude to dobbing his good friend Sibbo right in it. "One startling fact I wish to share with you: on Saturday Sibbo chose not to attend the Swindon match, thus missing signs that spring has come (Tony Butcher had shed his winter coat) - perhaps a trifle early, some might say. Is there a song in there? Instead he crossed the border and watched the Owls take on his ex-love, Wolves. Cast aside for a Yorkie. This will never do, especially when managed by a thrusting not-so-young executive. I chose to wear my Ivano T-shirt and stand alone in the Rutland. The reason unknown. Another song perhaps?" Yes - The Bravery's 'Honest Mistake', perhaps. Or Deacon Blue's 'I Was Right And You Were Wrong'. Alternatively, if we want to focus exclusively on Saturday's proceedings at Blundell Park, Chris Isaak may have the answer in 'Wicked Game'.

We will finish today with a dialogue that took place at 3pm on Saturday between the Diary and a turnstile-operating lass with a voice like a foghorn and a penchant for interruption.

Diary: "Have you got one of them vouche..."
Lass: "YOU ONNY GEDDEM IF YER WEEERIN A TOWN SHERT!"
Diary: "Er, but they said season ticket holders coul..."
Lass: "I ANT GOT NUN LEFT!"
Diary: "Ah right... so... whe..."
Lass: "YULL AVE TER GUTTERVER CLUB SHOP!"
Diary: "Is it o..."
Lass: "YER CAN GO AFTERVER MATCH!"
Diary: [runs away into BP, whimpering]

So, did any season ticket holders manage to get one of the vouchers we were promised for five quid off the price of next season's? Email and tell the Diary - preferably speaking in your turn with the softest, gentlest words you can find.