Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Tuesday 17 April 2007
17 April 2007
Positive John Fenty has not exactly been a model of calm in recent times, what with his monthly expressions of exasperation at any broadcaster, local newspaper or fanzine editor not seeing the world entirely the way he does. The Town chairman is at his most chilled-out for ages, though, in an interview put out today on Mariners World, in which he addresses in a notably laid-back manner the issues of Lord Buckley's return (worked out well, hasn't it), Gary Cohen (hopefully back next season), Luton's Michael Reddy (no idea really), and the Mariners' proposals for a new stadium on the outskirts of town, just off the A180 near Great Coates (best idea by anyone ever in the history of humankind). Towards the end of the interview, as Peaceful John gets positive about the Fentydome, his words are almost drowned out by what sounds like a large and noisy flock of birds somewhere off camera, and only the worst kind of cynic would ask whether it is actually a squadron of airborne pigs.
The Myspace Mariners have been pwned by Walsall in the semi-final of the Midlands Floodlit Cup. After exiting the Puma Youth Alliance Youth Cup at the Northern Area Final stage with a disappointing performance last week, Neil Woods' promising young charges have made it two cup exits in five days, albeit with an improved showing against the side they beat in last year's final. Town's official website reports that the yoof caused a lot of problems for their Walsall counterparts in losing 2-0 last night. Given that the youth team's fixtures and results page seems not to have been updated since 17 February, perhaps the OS could now concentrate on the league.
Not to be outdone by these scoops for the OS, the Grimsby Telegraph has returned for its lead sports story today to a seemingly inexhaustible source of news: Curtis Woodhouse. The idiot who runs Town's fourth division rivals Chester City was recently reported to be trying to bring Curt back to the football pitch from the boxing ring, but after winning the second fight of his professional career - in boxing, I mean; he won more fights than that during his football days - the former GTFC midfielder explained that Stephen Vaughan "wanted me to go back playing full-time and that was never an option for me". Woody's points victory at the Barnsley Metrodome on Sunday night was watched by several of his former teammates from various football clubs, and the player-turned-pugilist explains cutely that "I bump into Whitts and Macca now and again over in Hull in the shops". Next week a BBC documentary is expected to reveal what they were all buying.
"So you feel sorry for Gary Cross?" emails Steve Hull. "What about 'Sean Doherty the tapped'?" Either Steve has found another mistake in the deeply flawed BBC report on the Mariners' weekend defeat at Accrington, which we took the piss out of here yesterday, or Town managed to make an illegal transfer approach to Doherty during a stoppage in play.
"I've been a bit intrigued about all the 'same soil base' stuff seen on CA and originating on the official site," writes Clav Divs in response to last week's story about Town's groundsman Mike 'Digger' Phillips. "As far as I can deduce, my lawn is also on its original soil base (give or take a few sprinklings of weedkiller and dog muck) from its conception back in the early part of last century. That's a coincidence isn't it?" Mildly spooky, Clav, mildly spooky. Now if you were planning to move to a new garden that you can only access by car, with twice the square yardage you actually need, and very little to set it apart from any of the most boring gardens to be found elsewhere in the country, that'd be a coincidence.
Today's final word comes from Durham Diary, who seems to have left the north-east for an extended Easter break. "As I sit here (having may or may not been to the Rose and Crown in Scartho for several pints) I am moved to reply to your Diary," he writes. "I always think of Scunthorpe as my younger brother, who I always want to destroy when I play cricket against him in the back garden, but if it came to him getting runs or anyone else getting him out I'd much rather the runs (in a non-diarrhoea sense). In fact I would delight in Grimsby fans throughout the world being so magnanimous and arrogant with the Scunny Bunnies as to wish them well for next season with a patronising pat on the shoulder. Surely the best way to demean them (and I really hate them so) is to think: 'Bless the poor blighters,' and still view them as a smaller and inferior club to us, even though they will play two divisions above us next season?" My thoughts exactly, DD. If we're going to be hateful and bitter, let us at least do it in a subtle and stylish way.