Cod Almighty | Diary
Diary - Thursday 5 April 2007
5 April 2007
Straight Peter Bore has decided he's OK to play this week and scored twice yesterday for the reserves. The practising heterosexual winger has recently reported fluctuations in his fitness which seem to coincide mysteriously with the likelihood of him making the first team that weekend, but played a decisive role as Town's all-conquering second string won 3-2 at home to York. SPB's brace followed an opening strike from centre-half Simon Grand (sexuality undeclared), who put his side ahead on 11 minutes from a header on from a free kick. "We will have a summary of the game soon after the final whistle," promises the Mariners' official website, straight after a summary of the game that appeared soon after the final whistle.
It must be at least a week since a former Town player was last tried or sentenced by a court of law for a serious crime, so let's get the latest on the ne'er-do-wells who once represented our club. Terrell Forbes was acquitted, of course, on charges of rape while still on the books at Grimsby - only for his form to nosedive spectacularly afterwards, and by all accounts he ne'er did very well at Oldham - while Curtis Woodhouse recently made time, in between his monthly changes of career, to be found guilty of assaulting a police officer in an incident that took place during Town's unsuccessful charge for promotion at the end of last season. Now a third Russell Slade signing, Ashley Sestanovich, has been sentenced to eight years in prison for his part in planning a robbery in June 2005 which resulted in murder, and a BBC London report reiterates the curious misconception that 'Stan' played for Manchester City rather than GTFC and Scarborough. At least Jamie Lawrence did time before he signed for the Mariners.
A happy Easter weekend to you all from the Diary, and Town fans thinking of attending Monday's traditional bank holiday derby against long-standing local rivals Wycombe Wanderers will be bouncing like bunnies at the news that they can get in for ten quid instead of fifteen. A voucher in tomorrow's Grimsby Telegraph will offer supporters five quid off the usual admission price as the momentum recently generated by the 'Be Town's 12th Man' campaign dwindles away along with the players' interest and motivation and we all look forward to finishing 19th and dreaming of August.
"Thank you for keeping us informed about our former Mariners," emails Felix Oliver-Tasker in response to yesterday's Rob Jones news. "I'm very pleased for the Stickman. He always gave honest performance and I was sorry when he left but at least he went to Hibs, one of my favourite clubs, being a Left Footer, Pope Head, Bead Jiggler or whatever else I have been called in the past or may be called in the future. The boy's doing good." Indeed - and he scored again last night. Felix proceeds to update us on his own recent career developments, explaining: "We have moved to a brand new clap clinic and we now have lots of new equipment to supplement our rusty penknives and blunt old chisels. We have a bale of second-hand barbed wire, some new shards of broken glass and something that looks a bit like a thumbscrew, albeit somewhat larger. I'm not sure what it's for but I've been told on good authority that it doubles as a wheel clamp. It's good to give our clients such a high-class modern service." If any of Felix's clients are reading today's Diary and have appointments booked for next week, I expect they'll be cancelling now - but as a good Catholic boy Felix himself should have plenty of experience of pulling out at the last minute.
That's all from me until Monday evening then, but Guest Diary will be doing his thang tomorrow. See yers!